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No, I’m not speaking of Smallville. I’m going to be talking today about the old
Superman movies with Christopher Reeve as the star. I know you’re probably wondering how this relates
to adoption, but I will show you.
When Superman’s story begins, he’s an infant. We find him on his home planet, Krypton. His parents Jor-El and Lara put him in a pod
to save him from Krypton’s impending explosion.
Then we see them no more. The
planet explodes in the reflection and view from the escaping pod. The next we see of Superman is his pod crash
landing in the Kent’s farm fields, where what will become Superman’s adoptive
father finds him and takes him in.
Let’s explore some of the negative adoption stereotypes
that were perpetrated by a storyline like that.
Superman’s parents didn’t abandon him.
They actually knew his life was in danger and did the best thing they
could to save him, which was to send his pod out into space and hope he landed
on a friendly planet. This is much how
birth parents today are still viewed.
People take negative stereotypes about parents who lose their kids to
foster care and place them upon parents who make that relinquishment decision
at birth. They also assume that we’re
abandoning our children, even if we’re actually doing the best thing we can
think of doing for our children. This
may not be literally saving them from a threatening living situation, or an
expectant mother may feel her child is in literal danger if she parents that
child. However, when Mr. Kent finds the
baby, the assumption is that the baby has been abandoned by his parents.
The second stereotype perpetuated by the storyline is
that adoption is a charitable decision by the adoptive parents. When Mr. Kent finds the baby in the field,
the emphasis placed on the “poor, abandoned baby” makes it seem like the Kents
are heroes for taking in the child no one knows a thing about and raising him
as their own. This stereotype was widely
known and acknowledged in the baby scoop era where all adoptive parents were
painted as heroes for adopting a stranger’s baby. Once the feeling of being heroes had passed,
the fact of adoption was then promptly covered over by adoptive parents trying
to raise these kids as their biological children. Some adoptions still happen that way
today. But adoption should happen with
respect to the child’s biological roots too.
I’m certain you would agree.
Superman grows up feeling different and when he starts
blooming in his powers, he figures out why he feels that way. Even though the Kents raised Superman in the
way they felt he should be raised, because they knew nothing about his biology
they couldn’t encourage that side of him.
That’s one of the many benefits of open adoption. Not only does the adoptive family have access
to medical history, but they have ongoing access to at least the birth mom’s
personality. If the Kents had access to
Superman’s biological parents, they would’ve known he had many special powers
and he wouldn’t have had to search for who he was like he did.
Monika loved this post so well written and explained the birthmom and adoptive mom side. Great reading ty plus I love super heros
ReplyDeleteThis was a really good description of how I feel as a birthmom. 25 yrs ago I gave my son up for adoption. We had our reunion 5 months ago. It was joyous. But now, it is painful. Even with him knowing all the details of why I made that decision, he feels I abandoned him. I'm reading these blogs now in search of someone who may understand what I'm going through. Thank you for this analogy of adoption.
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