Let's Be Friends

Although in a closed adoption for the first 17 years of her life, my birthdaughter and I have been in and out of reunion over the past 7 years or so. I have let her drive the bus in our relationship and been sensitive to her needs to continue her life with her family. When she opens the door, I walk through it, but not until.

Well, that's mostly been true. This year I sent her a birthday card even though I hadn't heard from her in over a year. I sent it because, well, I wanted to, and because I had a current address for her. I didn't attach any strings but told her how much I loved her.

Another thing I've done this year is stalk her on facebook. I realized by pure accident that her privacy settings were not engaged and I could freely look at any and all of her information. After a few months she changed them, so I'm not able to do it anymore.

I don't want to rule her life. I don't even need a small part of it. But I am curious. Curious about if she's healthy, happy, those types of things. Curious if she's still in school, still pursuing her dreams.

So I was wonderfully excited when I received a friend request from her a few weeks back. I confirmed it right away and again perused her pictures and posts to get a feel for where she is at. We still don't talk or communicate in any way, but somehow having a window into her world is enough.

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