Tuesday, June 10, 2014

My Adoption Story

In 2001, as a girl in her early teens I always said to myself “I will not get pregnant at the age of 16." I wanted nothing to do with following the footsteps of my older sister, my mother, and grandmother. Each of them had gotten pregnant at the age of 16 and had their babies at 17. It was something I was terrified of. Well, guess what? I got pregnant when I was 16 years old. I found myself in a situation that for years I swore I would not get into. Once I found out I was pregnant, I automatically knew that I would not succeed at being a teen mom. Now that I think back about it, I was in a calm state of mind when I chose adoption and knew it was the right decision for both baby and I. 

At the beginning of my pregnancy, scared and clueless of how to even be a mother at 16, I was scared to tell anyone that I was pregnant. My parents are divorced, my mother is an alcoholic and my dad is a drug addict. So you can see how the lack of support would steer me in the direction towards adoption. At this time I was still in high school and did not want to be a dropout like others in my family. I had planned to graduate high school no matter what I had to do to get there.

Once I got the courage to tell my mom that she was going to be a grandmother, she told me that she already knew. Of course like any mom, she did not want to hear that her young daughter was pregnant, not married, and now she would be a grandmother at such a young age. Shortly after telling my family, my mom decided that after 14 years of working in a potato plant, it was time for a change and to move to Texas. We packed up a U-Haul and moved to Texas and life started over. 

Before I left Idaho for Texas, I had been searching for an adoptive family for my unborn child. I was very lucky that I had found the most perfect adoptive parents for Maria. We had communicated often and once we got to know each other it was agreed that once I was settled in Texas that they would fly me out to San Diego, California to meet. Once I arrived in San Diego and met Kim and Chris, I knew instantly that this was the family for my baby girl. I was met by not only the adoptive parents but practically the whole family with open arms and warm hugs. They were so happy that I was going to be able to provide Kim and Chris their first child.  It was a joyous time. 

Once I got close to my due date Kim and Chris flew out to San Antonio Texas and were there for the birth. The whole experience was amazing and to have them there to help welcome their baby girl into the world was great.  Thirteen years later, I am still very happy with the choice I made for Maria and placing her in an open adoption.  

Due to the fact that I am married to a Army Soldier, it is hard to get to go see Maria in California. But for the last two years they had been vacationing in New Jersey and I was within driving distance and got to see them. My open adoption is awesome. Sure there are bumps in the road but it’s about dealing with and finding a solution to dealing with those bumps in the road. 

I hope that I am able to meet some of you and help you cope with the trials and tribulations of adoption. I did not have anyone to ask questions or lean on in time of sadness. I would like to be that for others.


  1. I have a question...did the adoptive mother back away from you after the adoption? Like did she stop contacting you for periods of time? I am having this problem. My son just turned one and for the past 8 months she has stopped at times or limit her contact with me. It really upsets me and I don't know what to do. Talking to her makes her push away more or she will even ignore me.

  2. Hi Danielle,
    It is wonderful that things turned out for you and Maria. Can you comment on how you found your adoptive family? Did you contact an adoption agency? We have birth mothers contact us after reading our family profiles on our website.

  3. I as well just did adoption with my. 3rd baby a little girl, does it get easier? Theres a piece of my heart that feels like its missing now..

    1. I am also wondering if it gets easier , I gave my first baby up to adoption in June. I miss him so much. Are you raising your other 2? Is it an open adoption?