Just to give you a little background on me, I’m a librarian, a musician, a writer, and a knitter. It’s a weird combination of talents to be sure, but it seems to work most days. I placed my son, J (real name not used for privacy reasons), for adoption four years ago next month. Next month he will be four years old and I am still amazed at how quickly time has passed.
I realized I was pregnant at 6 months along. Before you all start wondering how that happened, I was still having my period and on birth control pills. My periods were supposed to be light. At least, that’s what I was telling myself. I found out at possibly the worst time ever. I had been trying to live by myself with only a part-time job and help from my parents. But they were starting to run out of money and things were getting worse. My parents had asked me to move home so that I could figure out something else. That’s when I find out I’m pregnant. I told them and there was much drama and yelling as you can imagine. But eventually things calmed down and we got down to the business of trying to decide what was going to happen. My boyfriend (now my 2nd best-ex) and I couldn't put together a stable home for our child. So, we made the decision together to place our son for adoption.
I found a couple on Bethany Christian Services’s adoption website and I knew that these were the people to have my son. We met a few times and they were at the hospital when I gave birth. Unfortunately I ended up having my son by C-section, but they did get to see him in the nursery just minutes later. Having to say goodbye to him a few days later was the hardest thing I have had to do to date. But I do know that it was the best decision for me given what has happened in the years since in my life, my and where he is now.
I often see him three or four times a year. We have a very open adoption and a lot of good and open communication between us. He and his parents live close to me and so it’s very easy to set up visits to see each other. One of the quirkier things about my relationship with my son's adoptive parents is that his adoptive father runs an open mic poetry reading that I started attending and reading poetry at several months ago. They have no problem with me coming and I even spent a very long time talking to his adoptive father a few days ago about J, life, the whole hospital experience on both sides and how our lives have changed since then. I know this is no the normal relationship, but it's the one that we've managed to forge and it serves us well.