Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Recap of Past Birthmother's Day Events

Written by Melanie Mosberg for the BirthMom Buds Newsletter

Birthmom Buds 6th annual Birthmother’s Day Celebration is around the corner. On Saturday, May 1st, 2010 in Charlotte, NC, birthmothers will have a day of remembrance, fun and fellowship with other birthmothers.

BirthMom Buds held their first celebration in May 2005 and I was fortunate enough to be in attendance. It was a small gathering with fellow birthmothers. I had no idea what to expect. Coley was my mentor during my pregnancy so of course I was excited to meet her in person for the first time but I was nervous as I had never really talked to other birthmothers. I was curious about their stories and experiences and the emotions they encounter. Did they feel the same way I did?

The answer is YES. All of our experiences are different however our common bond is being a birthmother and choosing life for our children and that common bond was evident as I talked with other birthmothers in attendance at BirthMom Buds' very first Birthmother’s Day event.

Coley is one of the most creative people I have ever met and have the privilege of knowing. Each year she, along with a few others, pours her heart and soul into the planning of the event by choosing a fun theme and meaningful other elements to the day. The theme each year is carried out throughout the day from the gift bags to the table arrangements and craft projects.

The theme for 2005 was “Luau for Life” and a Hawaiian luau theme was carried throughout the day complete with leis for each birthmother as she arrived. In 2006, the theme was “Pampered Princess “featuring elegant decorations. Each birthmother donned a sparkly tiara.

In 2007, we celebrated Hollywood style with the theme “You’re a Star” complete with a red carpet. And in 2008, we got tropical with a “Birthmother’s Beach Bash” and each birthmother took home a tiny little beach pail that had sea shells and sand in it. Lastly in 2009, Coley pulled off an unusual but very meaningful theme of "The Road Less Traveled" complete with centerpieces donning road signs like "Adoption Avenue" and "Reunion Way." I think you will love this year's theme!

Each year there is always a candle light ceremony, a slideshow featuring photos of our children, speakers from various different positions of the adoption triad, door prizes, fellowship, yummy food, and so much more! Last year Coley added breakout sessions to the agenda. They were educational and informative and they will return this year.

The first two years, the Birthmother’s Day Celebrations were held in Greenville, South Carolina. In 2007, I took on the task of event coordinator handling the logistics and we moved our celebration to bigger venues in Charlotte, North Carolina. The first event started out small and each year seems to get bigger and better.

If you can make it to Charlotte, NC the 1st weekend in May for the BirthMom Buds Birthmother’s Day Celebration I HIGHLY recommend it. Whether you are a car ride or plane ride away, EVERYONE is welcome. This year's chosen theme is "Mad Hatter's Tea Party" and I certainly can not wait to see what Coley does with this theme!

We've planned a weekend full of activities for those who wish to attend. We also have a discounted group rate at the hotel so please contact BirthMom Buds (birthmombuds(at)gmail(dot)com for more information.

Also, we are still looking for door prize donations and sponsors, if you are interested contact BirthMom Buds about that as well!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Change.org's 2010 Ideas for Change in America

Change,org recently launched the 2010 Ideas for Change in America. One of the ideas is about adult adoptees gaining access to their original birth certificates. Check out this link and if it is something you agree with then please vote. The 10 ideas that receive the most votes will be presented to the Obama administration and then promoted to Change.org's community of over 1 million people.

Voting ends Wednesday, Feb 24th!!

Thanks Kelsey for sharing this info!

Quote of the Week: Life is a Marathon

"Be patient and gentle with yourself. This life's journey is a marathon not a sprint."
~ Author Unknown

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Coping with being a Birthmom by Guest Blogger Blair B.

Being a birthmom can be a rollercoaster full of ups and downs. Everyone copes with their own adoption in their own individual ways. Some prefer to talk it out, while others get creative through scrapbooking or using other art forms to get their feelings out. No matter how you choose to cope, here are some "tips" on how to make being a birthmom a little easier.

1. After placing your child, allow yourself to experience the feelings that you are feeling and don't let anyone tell you when you should stop grieving or "get over it." We have to work through our own emotions at our own pace. So what if it doesn't match up to where someone else thinks we need to be. It's our experience, not theirs.

2. If you feel as though you are having a difficult time with your placement, talk to an adoption counselor or therapist. Talking out your feelings and/or problems with a neutral person can be so relieving and helpful. He or she can give you helpful hints on how to better deal with your grief from a professional stand point. You can also look up local birthparent support groups in your area.

3. Keep scrapbooks, pictures. and memorabilia. Remember, even though you placed your child with an adoptive family, he/she is still YOUR child. It is OK to have pictures of them around. It has helped many birthmoms be able to look back and see how far they have come in their journey.

4. Say lots of prayers for God to keep watch over you, your child, and his or her family. Having a strong faith will carry you through the difficult periods and even help during the happy times as well.

5. Don't look at adoption as a loss, but rather as gaining another really special family. You are extending your family even further with your adoptive family. They will love you so dearly as if you were of their own flesh and blood.

6. Be open about your adoption. The more you talk to people about it, the more confident you will feel. You will also be AMAZED at how many people are somehow connected to the adoption triangle. There are also so many people who have a negative perception of adoption. Sharing your story may teach them that adoption is a very positive process and is fulfilling to everyone involved.

7. If you do not feel comfortable talking with others about your feelings and story, journaling is an excellent outlet. Just getting out what is inside can help you tremendously in sorting out what should come next in the choices you make in the future. It is also another way to look back and see how far you have come.

8. Keep an open mind. Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself. Talk to your adoptive family about your needs and wants. If you don't want as much contact, let them know. If you want more, find a tactful way to talk to them about it and ask for it, if possible. You will never know until you ask. In most situations, either the birthparents or adoptive parents are hesitant to push the envelope and open up about visits, letters, and pictures. But once one side at least attempts to ask for a bit more then you will know what direction to take from there. You will also build a trust between families with communication. But all in all, keep an open mind.

9. Think positive. As hard as it may be at times, each day is one day closer to a reunion. Try to think about happy moments with your child, whether during pregnancy, in the hospital, through visits, or even just through pictures and letters.

10. Finally, take everything ONE DAY AT A TIME! No need to rush feelings and emotions. Also no need to rush life. Take time to cry and grieve, but also take time to laugh and enjoy the life of being a birthmom.

* Notes tips that are more relevant for birthmothers participating in an open adoption.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Quote of the Week: Price of Love

"Grief is not a sign of weakness nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
~ Author Unknown

Monday, February 8, 2010

February 2010 Newsletter

The February Newsletter is now up! Check it out here.

Crafty Valentine's for Your Child

Will you be sending your Child a Valentine?

If you know me very well at all, you know that I LOVE crafting, creating things, and being creative. So when it dawned on me that Valentine's Day is next week I knew I had to find/make something to send my Charlie and his sister. So, I started looking online and found some cute ideas. I thought maybe some of you were looking for a little something to send your kids for Valentine's Day so I thought I'd share some of what I found. I really should have shared these earlier so either do it quickly or save the ideas for next year. :)

Sweet Shovel
How cute is that? You could even add a little sand pail too and make it a very use-able gift. Although a sand pail would be difficult to mail if you are mailing your ild something like I am.
Find the instructions here.

Heart Crayons
This cute and very practical. They just melted crayons into heart shaped silicone molds. It would be super cute to do a little set of these and then print off some coloring pages (google free printable coloring pages - you'll find tons!).
Find the instructions for the heart shaped crayons here.

Valentine Bubbles
This is simple and fun. Just cover a bubble wand with some Valentine themed paper and you have a fun gift. What kid doesn't love bubbles? Find the instructions here.

Valentine Crackers
Using a toilet paper roll and tissue paper you simply fill up this treat with candy or small toys and you have an inexpensive but fun little treat. Find the instructions here.

And that's it. Which one is your favorite or do you have another creative idea?

Friday, February 5, 2010

Birthmother's Day 2010 - You're Invited!

Please join us for our Birthmother's Day Mad Hatter's Tea Party

on Saturday, May 1, 2010
at the Doubletree Hotel 
895 West Trade Street, Charlotte, NC 28202. 

We have an action packed weekend planned full of activities for those who wish to join us. 
Friday, April 30th at 7 PM - BirthMom Buds and Friends Dinner
Saturday, May 1 at 9 AM - Birthmother's Day Mad Hatter's Tea Party
Saturday, May 1 at 7 PM - Dinner and Dancing
Sunday, May 2 at 10 AM - Farewell Brunch

There are a limited number of seats available for The Birthmother's Day Mad Hatter's Tea Party so please RSVP by April 18th, 2010 to Coley at birthmombuds(at)gmail(dot)com or 1-877-790-4174.

Hotel rooms are available for our group at a discounted rate. Please contact Coley for more information. 

This event is open to any and all birthmothers! To see the invitation, click here

Monday, February 1, 2010

Music Monday: Tears in Heaven

Quote of the Week: Red Thread

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or table but will never break."
~ Ancient Chinese Belief