How does your Reality Match Up with TV's Reality?

As I sit here writing this, I have MTV's Teen Mom 3 playing in the background. I've noticed 3 key things about this trilogy:

1. The moms are never content.

2. If the girls are in a relationship, it's never a good one.

3. There are at least 30 solid minutes of arguing between all 4 of the mom's segments.

Even though these girls probably thought their decisions through, the main message they send across is that they wished they would've waited. Sometimes I wish I was going through what they're going through though. Sometimes I regret my decision.

As I've learned from TV and from personal friends, no matter what age you have children, it's never easy. But being a "teen mom" is probably the hardest time. I'm watching these girls go through all of this, basically, on their own. In most segments, the father is no where to be found. In my opinion, if I would've had Micah when I was better off financially and emotionally and with the man I loved, I could have made it work. 

What are your thoughts about this? 

Photo Credit

Support and Birthdays

"I keep thinking of that moment, because that's when she really started to live." - Tyler talking to Catelynn about the day they said goodbye to Carly.....

The past few weeks have been some of the most emotional weeks I’ve had in quite awhile. It doesn’t help that the past three episodes of Teen Mom almost seemed to coincide with situations that were occurring in my life as a birthmom, and writing about that was just too hard to do. So here I am, 3 weeks late on what I think about Teen Mom, but ready to share my thoughts and feelings.

Coming from a two parent, middle class household, where mom and dad did everything they could to provide us with the things we needed, you would’ve thought my family was the Cleaver family or the Brady Bunch. But that’s what things looked like from the outside. The emotional and verbal abuse from my family has always gone on for as long as I can remember growing up. Being that I was the oldest of the three of us girls, there was always more pressure on me to do what they wanted me to do, and there was hell to pay when I deviated from their plans for me. It was more subtle when I was younger, but definitely became more apparent once I told my family that I was pregnant with C 7 years ago. That’s when I got labeled as the “Family Screw Up.”

The verbal and emotional abuse continued well after I had C. It was the main factor in deciding to place Hope for adoption. I didn’t want another child brought into a home where they saw their mother constantly brought down by their family. I didn’t want her to see me cry or be sad because I wasn’t “good enough” for my family. It was bad enough C has to see his mommy go through that from time to time, even though I do my best to suck it up when he’s around. But there was no way I could bring another child into this mess.

This “mess” ended up only getting worse after I gave birth to Hope. My family has had the hardest time accepting the adoption and the fact that my princess is in the hands of a wonderful couple who are better suited to give her all the things I could never provide. I know they are angry and hurt by the fact that I didn’t give them the opportunity to get used to the idea that they were going to have another grandchild. I understand that they are hurt because she is a piece of them since she is a piece of me. I get it, but I don’t get why they continue to bring me down when they see for themselves how bad I hurt.

I will never ever forget the day my family and I were sitting at the dinner table a couple of years ago and my dad blurted out “All the problems in this family are because of you. It’s all your fault.” I know he was referring to my choice to place Hope. I remember not wanting to live anymore after that day. I remember hurting to the point of being unable to breathe because, while they didn’t respect me, I respected them, and could not believe my dad would say that to me. Those words stuck to me even after my dad denied ever saying that to me. This is part of the reason why I push myself to succeed in life – to have the last laugh.

During last week and the previous week’s episodes of Teen Mom, I felt a heavy pain in my heart. I wanted to hug Catelynn and tell her that even though her mom didn’t understand her, I did. I wanted to tell her that I support her and am proud of her and would never make her feel bad for the choice she made to give Carly a better life. I would tell her those things because they are things I wish my own mother would tell me. Just like Catelynn’s relationship with her mom since the adoption has crumbled, so had my own relationship (or what little I had) with my mom and it breaks my heart. The anger and rage that her mom has, the emotional outbursts, I totally understand. While my mom is mild compared to Catelynn’s mom, and my mom is way straight edged compared to the mess that makes up her mother, the feelings that they share towards our choice for adoption are similar, if not the same.

I find that after watching the previous two episodes before this week’s, it was hard to take in for the mere fact that Hope’s birthday was coming up and watching the show was only a constant reminder of the pain in my heart. This year, on September 9^th, my sweet angel turned 5 years old. Her birthday marked 5 years since the moment my life changed forever, since I fell in love with those beautiful brown eyes, dark curly hair, and inherited dimples. This was the hardest birthday to get through, one I labeled as a “Milestone Birthday”.

I considered this to be a Milestone Birthday because SO MUCH has happened in the past 5 years, let alone 5 months or so. I have grown so much as a birthmom and have felt emotions I never had an opportunity to feel since placement. I have accepted that I am a birth mother, and while it doesn’t define who I am, I can no longer deny that it is a big part of who I am today. I have “come out of the closet” and am no longer afraid to share my story. I no longer have fear of being judged or looked down on because I know that being a birthmother is one of the greatest jobs I could have ever been given.

Watching this week’s episode of Teen Mom couldn’t have come at a better time. Just 5 days after having gotten through Hope’s birthday, this episode featured Catelynn and Tyler celebrating Carly’s first birthday. They sent her a gift and got to talk to her on the phone. They were able to talk about their memories and share their feelings with one another. It was a bittersweet episode that ended with the two of them blowing out a candle on a cake for her birthday. It proved that they didn’t need her mom or his dad, or anyone else for that matter. They had each other.

Getting through the tough times, like birthdays and holidays, wouldn’t be possible without the support from others. No one in my family directly mentioned Hope’s birthday last week, at least not to me. No one in my family gave me a hug or said that they were thinking of me as I got through this tough time. My mom did get mad, however, because an aunt questioned her about my status on Facebook and wanted to know what it was all about. Afterall, the adoption is a “family secret”.

It’s ok, though, because I have an amazing group of friends and coworkers who made sure I got through this Milestone in one piece, and I did. I got texts, phone calls, e-cards, Facebook messages and ims. I got flowers delivered to my job (thank you, friend ). I went out to dinner with friends and hung out with my boyfriend and my son over the weekend to help ease the pain… and it did. Without all of that, I don’t think I would’ve been able to make it through, so I thank those of you who were there for me. It means the world to me to know that so many people care about me. Once again, thank you, friends, because of your support, I’ve made it one year closer to the day I hope to see her again.

The Importance of Self Esteem

When I was younger, I had major self esteem issues. I would look in the mirror and hate the way I looked. My hair was frizzy, my body was awkward, my eyebrows were bushy, my butt was too big, and my skin was too dark (compared to everyone else in my family). I literally felt like a black sheep. During high school I changed my name to “Myshel” and swore I was someone totally different than whom I was. I had a different boy every week and would drop them before they had an opportunity to drop me. The attention they gave me felt good, at least temporarily.

A couple of months after graduating high school, I met C’s dad. He swept me away. While I should’ve been focusing on college, I focused on him. Before I realized it, I made him my world. Nothing else mattered to me. My family and I would have huge fights because of him. They saw me becoming less and less of the person I was, and more and more like the person he wanted me to be. He mentally and verbally abused me. He controlled me. The 2 ½ years I was with him were some of the weakest points in my life.

When I found out I was pregnant, I cried. I saw my whole life, all my goals, get thrown down the toilet. He was happy and excited to finally be a “family”. Yet, during those 9 months, he cheated on me and abused me, and put me through a living hell. I felt like I deserved everything I was getting and dealt with it. It wasn’t until C was born that I woke up. He physically abused me two more times and threatened to take my son from me, the last time being under the roof of my parent’s home, and that was the final straw. I was done. I couldn’t have this monster in mine or my son’s life. I finally had the courage to break up with him. Unfortunately, by then the damage was done.

The following year after the breakup, I was at an all time low, self esteem wise. I went from guy to guy to guy. I had just turned 21 and was like a walking ad for Girls Gone Wild. My self respect, amongst other things, went out the window. I no longer loved myself. I looked for attention any way I possibly could. It was disgusting. Before I knew it, a year had passed and I was even more unhappy than I was when I left C’s dad. Unfortunately, it only got worse when I found out I was pregnant from a one night stand. I was ashamed of myself.

During the 9 months I was pregnant with Hope, there were times when my self esteem was so low, I prayed to God to not let me wake up in the morning. I hoped to fall down the stairs or get hit by a car. It was the darkest time of my entire life, possibly even more so since my pregnancy was kept a secret. I went through it all alone in fear and shame of what others would think of me. I was so hard on myself that I never got to see the positives of everything my life had brought me.

Where am I going with this?

While watching Teen Mom, I’ve been reminded over and over of the self esteem issues we all face as teenagers, and even as adults. It’s tough for me to see these girls go through the struggles they do. We saw Maci struggle with Ryan and the way he treated her last season. A lot of us have agreed that Farrah was a terrible mom, but now can see where all her issues stem from after the incident with her mom and her conversation with her therapist regarding her relationship with Sophia’s dad. We cringe at the mental and verbal abuse between Amber and Gary. Worst of all, we continuously see the difficulties of Catelynn and Tyler being in a relationship after placing Carly for adoption.

Teen Mom has been difficult for me to watch lately, as seeing the issues evolve between Catelynn and Tyler’s relationship makes me feel really bad for both of them. When Tyler was being a jerk and Catelynn was crying about how much it hurt her, I wanted to reach through the screen and shake her and say “LEAVE HIM”. No one should be made to feel like they’re worthless, especially by someone who says loves them. The attachment and bond between Ty and Catelynn is strong due to the fact that they went through pregnancy and placement and post adoption feelings together. Regardless, though, there is NO REASON she should allow him to talk to her and text her with the things he was telling her. There’s no reason for any of us to allow anyone to bring us down like that. We shouldn’t have to “settle” with anyone who brings us down and doesn’t make us feel good about ourselves.

Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to be involved with them. Love is not a bandage to cover wounds. –Hugh Elliott


For awhile, I had labeled myself as “damaged goods”. Personally, I felt like I was a mess that no one would want to be with. I had two children by the age of 22. I didn’t have a degree or a house of my own. I was living paycheck to paycheck. I felt like I had no worth. I dated around, but never opened up about my experiences in life with anyone because of the fact that I was embarrassed by the way my life played out. It was hard for me to trust anyone, let alone trust myself that I wouldn’t go back to my old way of thinking or acting. I was more embarrassed of being me.

It has taken me several years to realize what an amazing person I am. I have become able to see all the good things within myself and be proud of who I am and am becoming everyday. My level of personal growth in the past 5 years since Hope was born is amazing. I have transformed from a single mom with broken dreams and a broken heart to a woman who is selfless, strong, determined, confident, intelligent, goal oriented, and compassionate. I’m proud of myself for how far along I have come in my life and how much more growth I have ahead of me. Granted, I have my off days like anyone else, I don’t dwell on them as much as I used to and have opened myself up for new opportunities, including falling in love. But, that’s another story for another day…

What are some of the things you find you are hard on yourself about and wish you could change? What are the positive things you see in yourself? Focusing on those positives will help get through the bad days. If you ever need a boost, and don't know where to start, I highly suggest this site I read about in Glamour magazine. Try it ;)

Grief, Guilt, and Counseling

Don’t you hate the feeling of indulging in a decadent dessert after you promised yourself you were going to diet and lose those extra pounds you’ve recently added to your physique? The feeling of heaviness, not just from the extra calories, but from knowing you did something you told yourself you wouldn’t do. That creeping feeling in the back of your mind is called guilt. We have all felt it at one time or another in our lives; that tightening in our stomach, that tinge of sadness and remorse. It’s a natural feeling when we do something our conscience tells us not to do.


“Guilt is anger directed at ourselves” –Peter McWilliams

Last week’s episode of Teen Mom showed Tyler’s feelings of guilt a few months after placing Carly for adoption. He didn’t want to do anything fun, like go to football games or out with his friends. He told his mom that he felt bad. He said that he was a dad, and he felt like he should be home, rather than out and about enjoying his youth. He said it best by mentioning that he didn’t feel his age. He felt like he needed to be grown up and responsible.|

In Season 1, we saw Catelynn grieve Carly’s adoption by talking about her and attending the birth mom retreat. We always saw Ty as the strong one, the one standing by, hugging and reassuring her when his girl was down. Unfortunately, Tyler didn’t have his own opportunity to grieve until now, almost 9 months after Carly’s birth, and he doesn’t have anyone to be the strong one for him to reassure him that everything will be ok. Part of his grieving process is feeling guilt and sadness and distrust towards Catelynn.
How many of us felt that way after we placed our own children for adoption? I know I can personally say I did. For awhile, I felt that I shouldn’t go out and have fun with my friends. I didn’t feel my age. I felt like I was mentally 10 years older than most of my friends, if not more. I felt like I needed to stay home and take care of the child I already had, focusing on him and becoming a better person for the both of us. I got a better job with more responsibilities and set hours. I finally put my foot down and stood up to my son’s “dad”, setting ground rules for him coming to visit. I went back to school full time and worked my butt off until I was burnt out. No breaks. I did what I had to do and was on a mission to prove to the world I wasn’t the screw up they thought I was… until I realized that I was the only one who thought I was a screw up. Then I was able to relax a bit and enjoy life.

Placing a child for adoption is a big deal. As a birth mom, we have carried our babies inside of us, feeling their every move, kick, and hiccup for 9 months. As birth fathers, they have been there and supported us (or at least, some of us) while we went through every emotion, mood swing, and late night craving. While some of us have gone through the adoption option alone, some have gone through placing their children for adoption as a couple, and it is one of the things that can make or break a relationship.

During this week’s episode of Teen Mom, Tyler and Catelynn decided to attend counseling together to deal with their issues with one another. Since I watch Teen Mom online, I notice the streaming comments about the episode on the right side of the screen. More than once, I saw people say negative things about therapy. They said that only crazy people go for counseling or that they must be really screwed up if they thought they needed couples therapy. Other people commented and said that it’s not worth it and to just move on. My perspective: I am HAPPY the pair is seeking couples counseling. Counseling is a GREAT THING!
In my opinion, therapy is the most effective means to maintaining a healthy and sane life. I don’t just say this because I work at a counseling agency myself, but because counseling has helped me to overcome many things that I wasn’t able to get over by myself. I never thought that spilling my guts about so many things in my life could help me feel so much better, but every week I went in to see my therapist always felt like a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders when I left. While having friends and family and outside sources of people to talk to about your problems is a good thing, there’s nothing better than the unbiased opinion of a therapist to help you seek the answers that are within you, and if anything, just listen to you while you vent about whatever it is that is bugging you that day.

I have learned a lot about myself through individual counseling. I’ve learned how to properly process my feelings and how to react towards them as positively as possible. I have learned how to identify different behaviors and why I act or say or think and feel the way that I do. I have been able to share my family issues, my feelings towards the adoption, my relationship, my job, my friends (or lack thereof), etc. I still struggle, but am glad to know that it’s all normal (according to my therapist). Whether it’s individual or couples or a group setting, I recommend therapy to anyone, especially as a birth parent.

Birthmother Support

“Birthmom Buds are like a good bra, close to your heart and there for support.”

While Teen Mom on MTV shows the difficulties of what it’s like for three girls who have had babies at a young age, it also focuses on the struggle Catelynn and her boyfriend, Tyler, have had post-adoption. It shows the nitty gritty of the raw emotions faced by birth parents after placing their child into the hands of the adoptive parents. This week’s episode brought up how important it is to have a good support system, to get through the feelings that not just anyone can understand.

While Catelynn dealt with her grief last season by talking to her adoption worker and meeting the other birthmoms at a retreat, Tyler never had the opportunity to grieve Carly’s placement. This season shows a different light, where the “loss” of Carly is starting to hit him and he is realizing that he is in a much different situation than others in his age range. He is feeling guilty for wanting to have fun and enjoy his last year of high school, and his emotions seem to be causing a rift in their relationship.

I love that Tyler is able to talk to his mom. She has been supportive of their choice since the beginning, especially when Catelynn’s mom and Tyler’s dad were against it. I think it’s great that she was able to try to motivate him to do things and enjoy his life, rather than make him feel bad for the decision he made. I like that the adoption worker is still in contact with both of them and that she is an amazing resource for the couple, because that’s not always the case in most adoptions. I truly felt happy for Tyler for reaching out to another birthfather who was able to give him the support that only another birthparent could give. The man to man conversation they had was important because it gave him the perspective of someone who has been through it already and the ok to do things and be happy.

As a birthmother for the past 5 years, I wish I had the support that Tyler has from his mom. While my family has been able to somewhat understand my feelings and reasoning for the adoption itself thanks to Teen Mom, they don’t entirely get it and support me. Getting pictures in the mail is only a reminder to them of the piece of them that they never got to know. They say mean things from time to time and it has caused some tension between all of us. My family is more like Catelynn’s family, angry for the decision I made and unable to comprehend why. It has been the biggest source of the pain in my heart, more than letting go of my beautiful daughter, because they’re support matters most.

I think it is great that the adoption worker for Catelynn and Ty is still a part of their lives, following up with them and providing them with the resources for more support. I believe that post-adoption care is so important, and not all of us are as lucky to get that. My original social worker wasn’t the greatest. When I called a few weeks after I had the baby to ask for resources for counseling, she said to just check online or the yellow pages. She left the adoption agency I worked with about a year after Hope’s placement. She never called or emailed me, she just disappeared. I felt “jipped”, like she was there for me when it came to taking my baby from me, but she wasn’t there when I was sad about it and needed someone to talk to. It only made me feel worse.

Having other birthparents to talk to seems to have helped Catelynn and Tyler. I know it has definitely helped for me. For 4 ½ years, I basically lived with an emptiness and had no one to relate to. My friends didn’t know what to say or do when her birthday would come around or Mother’s day would come up. I didn’t ever think there was anyone out there who understood what it felt like to miss a piece of my heart, to wonder what she was doing or if I’d ever meet her. That was until I met the ladies from BMB.

I know I mentioned it in my last post, but I do feel forever grateful for the friendships I have created with the wonderful women all over the country who have become my support system. These birthmoms have become like sisters and are people I could laugh, and cry, and share my life with. One of those women, in particular, has become my go-to person for everything in my life and I honestly forgot what life was like before her. While we are a few states away, we text nearly everyday, and I consider her to be my best friend, even though we have only met each other once. It feels good to have that connection with someone who understands the emotions and feelings that go through my heart and my head. She’s been a b-mom a little longer than I have, and so I appreciate her wisdom when it comes to certain things.

Having the proper support is so important to get through the tough times. Whether it comes in the form of a family member, social worker, church leader, friend, or other birth parent, it helps to have someone to vent to or cry on. A good support system is crucial in processing the grief and guilt and heartache that we may carry. There is no need to go through that alone, especially when there are other people out there in the world who can relate to you.

The Pain of being a Birthmother Lasts Forever

"I never knew that it would last forever
....because it never stops."

- Catelynn ( of MTV's Teen Mom)

Wow, was she ever right! ;)

Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Michelle, a single mom to an amazing 6 1/2 year old son, and a birthmom to an equally amazing almost 5 year old little girl. Alot of people don't know that I am a b-mom, so when Coley asked me to do this blog, I was almost a little hesitant, but figured, WHY NOT? I have quite a story to share, and if my story could help other people, then it was all worth it.

I come from a very traditional family background, so when I came home 7 years ago at the age of 20 and told my parents that I was pregnant with my son, they almost had a heart attack. They were disappointed and heartbroken, but never stopped supporting me, even after I left C's dad a month after he was born. They helped me watch him while I went to school and did what I had to do to better myself. What they didn't know, was that I was out doing things I wasn't supposed to do, and a year after I left my son's dad, I had a one night stand that changed my life forever.

I hooked up with J on a December day in 2004. I felt disgusted with myself after I left and vowed to make a resolution to make guys respect me and treat me right. I changed my life to revolve on being a better parent and a better person, until I found out I was pregnant again. I felt like my whole world came crashing down. I couldn't have another baby. My son had just turned a year old. I can't be a single mom of two kids! So I scheduled an abortion for the following week.

I pushed everyone out of my life as soon as I found out, so when it was time to go have the abortion, I went alone. On my way, I passed by a church, and even though I went to Catholic school when I was younger, I didn't consider myself to be very religious. I went anyways and had a one on one talk with God. After lots of tears, we came to an agreement that he would forgive me for the mistakes I have made, if I gave this baby the life it deserved. There were plenty of people who would die to have a baby, and yet here I was planning on killing the one inside of me. Instead of going to the clinic, I went home and stayed pregnant.

I kept my pregnancy a secret. I was in denial. Things like this don't happen to girls like me. I am smart, educated, come from a two parent, loving household. How could this be happening? I went to work and lived my daily life as a normal person. I worked retail at the time, and when customers would ask how far along I was, I would answer back with "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat." There were days when I would pray not to wake up in the morning because of the situation I was in. It was the saddest, most darkest time of my life.

When I was about 6 months pregnant, my manager at work sat me down and had a conversation with me. She said "We have been noticing a change in you and want to talk to you as friends. You have been gaining alot of weight lately, are you pregnant?" It was the first time I admitted to anyone, including myself, that in fact I was. When she asked what I was going to do, I told her that I had thought about adoption. One of the ladies at work had a niece who just became an A-mom, and she gave me the information of the adoption agency she had gone through.

Fast forward to three months later, after I had gone to the agency, looked at their prospective a-parent books, picked a family, met them and fell in love with them. I still hadn't told my family. I had decided to tell them on a Friday, when I was scheduled to be off from work. I knew it was now or never since I was due in about 2 weeks. I went to bed on Thursday night, and woke up at 3:30am on Friday morning, thinking I had peed on myself. When I stood up out of bed, water gushed out of me and I thought "O M G - My water just broke." I had to wake my dad up (my mom worked nights), and tell him, "Dad, I'm 9 months pregnant and my water just broke" HOLY MOLY!!! He was in so much shock. He yelled at me for an hour and then took me to the ER. It was nothing like I could've imagined it to be.

I gave birth a few hours later to the most beautiful, healthy baby girl ever. She was absolutely perfect in every way. When I saw her a-parents hold her for the first time, I knew that I made the right choice, but I never expected my heart to hurt so much. I think it hurt even more because my family was so angry with me. I had hurt and disappointed them. I didn't give them an opportunity to even accept what was happening. It was truly a difficult time for all of us.

I gave birth to Hope on that Friday morning, and was released from the hospital on Sunday afternoon (September 11, 2005). It was the last time I got to hold my baby girl in my arms. It was the day I whispered in her ear and made the promise that I would be someone she could be proud of when we met again. It was the day that I had to part with a piece of my heart, but a day I never regretted.

I was in denial for a long time, as was my family. For years, while I hurt on Mother's Day and around her birthday, I never really showed it other than being a little more emotional and alot more bitchy. My family was very angry, and everytime I got pictures of her in the mail, my mom would go on and on about how she couldn't understand why I would do that. It was the cause of alot of fights between us.

While I spoke at bi-annual workshops for the adoption agency I placed through, I never met any other b-moms. I always felt like I was alone in feeling the way that I did, and always felt like I had to be strong and get past those feelings. I never had anyone I could relate to or to show me that it was ok. That is, until MTV aired the show 16 and Pregnant. I never thought a show that followed pregnant teen girls would change my life, especially as an adult. But it did.

When 16 and Pregnant showed the episode of Catelynn and Tyler, I sobbed throughout the whole show. It was the first time in my life that I had seen someone else who was real (Juno didn't count), go through the feelings and thoughts and emotions that I went through. As the cameras followed the pair through picking the a-family and meeting them, all the way to birth and seperation, I felt everything the couple felt. For once, there was a true depiction of what adoption looked like, as well as felt like. I think I watched that episode 3 or 4 times, and I know my mom and sisters watched it as well. They were finally able to understand what it was like to be in my shoes, and understood so much more.

When the show Teen Mom came around, depicting life after pregnancy and birth for 4 of the girls, including Catelynn, there was alot of controversy based on the idea that "she really isn't a mom." Who says she isn't a mom? She gave life, and while she didn't parent her baby, she gave her a better opportunity to be raised in a household of love and care, where things could be provided to her, by parents who had the ability to.

The first season of Teen Mom not only showed the difficulties and drama of being a mom at a young age, but it also showed the feelings of loss and sadness after placement. I felt the feelings Catelynn felt. I wanted to reach through the tv screen and hug her and tell her she wasn't alone, that I felt the same way she felt. The frustrations about not getting pictures when she was supposed to, or of not knowing certain things about the baby. I learned from her, and after watching the episode where she went to a b-mom retreat and met other b-moms, and seeing how much that helped her, it made me want to seek support of my own.

Thanks to Catelynn, I was able to feel the feelings that I had never let myself feel in the past 5 years. Thanks to Catelynn, my mom and sisters are able to understand a little bit more about why I did what I did and how I feel about it, even though I don't show them my emotions towards it. Thanks to Catelynn, I found Birthmom Buds. It was in thanks to watching her that I was able to reach out and seek support of my own. I flew all the way across the country, from Los Angeles to Charlotte, NC, to get that support, and it was life-changing. That girl on tv led me to a whole new world, a world where when someone says "I understand", they truly mean it. It's amazing how much healing I have been able to do thanks to the amazing group of women I met while I was across the country.

While this second season of Teen Mom so far seems to be focusing more on the relationship between Tyler and Catelynn and less on the adoption itself, which is the whole reason why they are on there in the first place, I am sure there will be more adoption issues that will come up as the season progresses. It's not just a show for teens, it's a show for everyone. This will be a place where we can discuss what we like and don't like, and how it relates to us, and our feelings. If you haven't watched Teen Mom yet, you can do so here.