Last week I got into contact with a dear friend of mine who's relationship was very strained and it was causing massive amounts of problems not only in my personal life but with my relationship with others and my husband. It was affecting my healing process more than I can really explain.
But, because I was divinely directed in a path that was healthy, and more faith based I was able to deal with my personal relationships as well dealing with my heartache, and depression with my adoption choice. I went to church on Sunday and I felt like I was MEANT to be there that God was speaking to me. The reason that I say this is because the pastor spoke from the book of Ezra. That is my birth son's name and I knew that I was meant to be there. It couldn't have been more perfect unless he yelled from the top of his lungs "LISTEN ALICIA". He talked about mourning and how we mourn for loss, mourn about job situations, as well as mourning for the loss of happiness, etc. It really brought me forth in my decision and made me understand that what I did was okay and that the only person that can truly judge me is God himself. Others opinions of myself and my decision truly do not matter because they again, don't get it unless they are in it.
I want to tell everyone that I am in a better place now and I hope to talk about the happiness of adoption and the way that you can feel better about it if you are hurting.
During my search to find God and make him a part of my everyday life as well as my marriage I found my life verse. I want to share my life verse with all of you.
"I sought the Lord, and he answered me, He delivered me from all my fears." -Psalms 34:4