Introductions are in order :) My name is Sarah: I am a senior at the University of Central Florida studying Social Work, I am a sister, daughter, girlfriend, and friend; I own a pembroke welsh corgi named Pepper, who is extremely feisty and I am a birthmother. The story of my son, ML(his initials), and I is very long and complicated so I'll try to give you the short version with more details as I continue to blog.
Two years ago I was attending a college in another state. I had a boyfriend who decided to visit me against my parents wishes and suffice it to say we were incredibly stupid, stubborn and I was naive. I didn't think I was pregnant until I got home for winter break. My mom commented on how I was always sleeping and wondered if I was pregnant. I, of course, denied everything and anything. I privately took a pregnancy test and found out I was but I continued to deny it. On the break, while I was less than three months pregnant, I rode roller coasters and I drank alcohol and I did everything that as a pregnant woman should not do. In January, when I went back to school, I started losing a lot of weight and convinced myself again that I couldn't be pregnant because I was losing so much weight. The school found out I was pregnant and made me call my parents and tell them. After a lot of drama with the school I asked my mom if I could just come home. My mom drove with my then boyfriend to pick me up and bring me home.
At home I found more peace than at school. My parents were shocked and they went through stages of anger and disappointment but they rallied behind me and gave me a ton of support. I at first had decided that my boyfriend and I would work towards marriage and raise our son together. To make a long part of this story short, at 8 months pregnant he told me he was in love with someone else and wanted to be with her over our son and I. So I said goodbye to him and found myself lost as to what to do. I didn't want G in my life or in my son's and I knew that if I raised my son I would have to see G and that my son would be affected. My mom and I looked into adoption and talked with a few good friends about it and we were directed to an agency. Through the agency, G's rights were terminated, however I had him involved so that he wouldn't be able to make a fuss at all after the adoption went through.
At this point I'm about to look at family profiles and decide who was going to raise my son. I had a long list of qualifications such as my son had to be their first child, they had to like music, sports, they had to have dogs and they had to want other children besides my son, etc. G and I had already named our son but I realized that the parents would decide what they wanted. I told my mom and dad that if my qualifications weren't met then I would raise my son myself. Only the best for my son. My mom told me I'd never find anyone who met all my qualifications. Before I could look at any profiles, an old friend of the family told my mom that she knew a couple that were interested in adoption and would I be willing to meet them. The only reason I said yes was because this woman was like a second mom to me.
I was extremely nervous meeting this couple as I'm sure they were with meeting me. To my surprise the people who walked in were my old youth pastors and their eldest son and daughter in law. I was shocked but happy at the same time because this was a family I knew since I was little. I had never met G and K but I knew his parents and his 3 younger brothers. I didn't really want to say anything or ask questions so my mom took the lead and asked them everything. Turns out they met everything on my list of qualifications. I had to leave for an outing with my sister but my mom stayed and talked some more with them. Later on my mom told me that the name G and K had picked out for their first son was the same name that G and I had picked out. It was then I knew that they were to be my son's parents. God had set it up in such a beautiful way.
I'm sure I'll fill you all in on the small details later. We have an open adoption and I get to see ML about twice a year and I feel like I am a part of their family. I couldn't have found better adoptive parents. G and K treat me like a sister and they are really, truly wonderful people. Through this experience I found that I want to change society's view of birthmothers.
I hope that through this blog I can help other birthmothers in some small way :)
Have a great week!!