Monday, January 31, 2011

The Force Is Strong With Us

I had a major epiphany last week. Not like the time I decided my calling in life was to build dollhouses, or when I seriously considered going to clown college, but a real deal epiphany. What was it you ask? Only that the Star Wars trilogy is one of the most touching stories of a birth parent/adoptee relationship ever told! I’m not crazy…I swear!

I received a letter a couple weeks ago from Bee’s mom. She was nice enough to include a few of Bee’s school projects. One of which was a drawing of him rocking out on guitar hero with a caption that read, “When I come home I like to play video games”. Me too, Bee!

While I know it’s no crazy surprise that an eight year old digs video games, it still made me happy to know we share a common interest. Being a birth mom I have to deal with the fact that Bee is no longer mine. He won’t grow up with my family traditions. He will never call me mom. He belongs to an entirely different family all together. So I take comfort in knowing that there are things that he and I share that can never be taken away from either of us. He has my smile, my nose, and my crappy vision (much to my disappointment on the latter).

Luke Skywalker is Darth Vader’s son. Even though Luke stays true to himself and the good nature of his adoptive family by rejecting the dark side, he can’t deny his bloodline. His biological make up is the reason why The Force is so strong within him! Watching Star Wars from a birth mom’s point of view makes it so much more than a super rad space adventure. To me, it’s the story of an adoptee finding the balance between nature and nurture.

Of course I never want my son to have to struggle to find himself. I want him to grow up knowing exactly who he is. I want him to feel secure in knowing that he is living the life he was meant to live.

Still, if Bee turns out to be an awesome Jedi, I’ll take the credit for that one!




  1. i absolutely love star wars and have NEVER looked at it quite that way,it does fit with what you're saying and i completely understand how you feel!

  2. I know this is a belated comment, but that is a totally awesome point of view. I too love Star Wars and had never thought of that point of view. Great post! :-)

  3. I believe in the force too!

  4. Sorry, but only the adoptee - the one who had absolutely no voice and no choice - gets to decide who they call Mom or who they "belong" to. You'd be surprised at the number of us who call our mother Mom and our adopters something else and who have come to the conclusion that the relinquishment papers and sealed records cut us off from where we really belonged - the family in which we make sense and find continuity, the family we were born to be in - our natural family.