First, please tell us a bit more about yourself (name, age, where you live, what led you to making an adoption plan, and anything else you feel comfortable sharing).
Well, in my blog I call myself S.C.L. and I think that’s what I'm going to stick to right now. When I was little and thought about being a writer I wanted a cool name as an author and I just always like using my initials, so for my blog I decided to do the same. I am 20 years old and live in San Jose, California. I’m a college student with multiple house cleaning and babysitting jobs. When I have the time I like to read, paint, write my blog, and paint my nails with one (or two ;] ) of my 75 different color polishes.
When I got pregnant I was 18-19 and a freshman at a CSU. My ex-boyfriend and I had just broken up, I just got my first real job, and had only moved away from home 6 months ago. I had no man, not enough money, and not enough education to get a decent paying job. I was nowhere near ready to have a baby. My baby deserved the world and I knew I wouldn’t be able to give him that. I couldn’t get an abortion. My Ex and I talked it over multiple times and rationally it was the best thing to do, but I just couldn’t. I knew that I would be extremely disappointed in myself and probably more depressed than any other option I chose. Keeping the baby was never really an option, so adoption was our only choice. After I found the perfect parents for my baby I felt even better about my choice. In October 2010 I gave birth to my beautiful 10 lb baby boy. Four days later he went home with his mom and dad. We have an open adoption so I get pictures, updates and even visitations. So far, though it’s been painful and difficult, I am happy with my choice.
I just started writing my blog in February of this year (2011). It’s a funny story. I was writing an essay for a contest in a magazine. The topic was “What Makes You Amazing?” and I decided to write about the adoption. I was taking a creative thinking class and asked my teacher to read my first rough draft for me after class. By the time she was done she was in tears. I know I’m a blogger and spend most of my time writing, but I’m not THAT good of a writer. I started apologizing profusely, I didn’t mean for her to cry. “ No, I’m sorry” she said “you just don’t understand,” and she began to tell her story. When she had her first child, there were complications that led it to becoming to dangerous to have another child. So for the last few years she and her husband have been trying to adopt but it hasn’t been going well. She was on the verge of giving up, and then she read my essay. She said it was like a sign. Someone was telling her, don’t give up yet it will happen for you. “The real funny thing is,” she said, “I want a daughter and I would have given her the same name as yours. It's my favorite girls name.” I had never been someone’s sign before, so all of this was kind of overwhelming. I started to tell her more in depth about my experiences and what I knew about adoption. She listened and asked questions about my son, his parents, our adoption experience, and me. It really seemed to make her feel better and optimistic. After I went home, I thought hard about what I just experienced. I loved talking about my baby and the adoption either from an emotional standpoint, educational, or both. I didn’t have an outlet for all of my post partum feelings. There wasn’t a support group in my town, I was in between therapists, and I was feeling anxious because I had a visit coming up. I thought about all the girls out there who had the same feelings as me, and how I wished some one REALLY understood what I was going through when I was pregnant. I also thought about all of the misconceptions about adoption and birthmothers that society has. I knew I wanted to help them somehow. I always thought about writing a book or journal about my experience, but I didn’t have the time or focus to sit down and try to write a book ever day. Then I saw one of my friend’s blogs on Facebook and the rest is history. I created my blogspot blog first, then a facebook page, and then I created the same blog on Tumblr. My goal/hope is to help the general public understand adoption from a birthmother’s point of view and to help other birthmoms/ future birthmoms by supporting them and giving them insight from some one who has been there before.
Tell us more about the title of your blog, Choosing Love: An Adoption Story. Why did you choose it?
Has the response to your posts been mostly positive, mostly negative, or a mix of both?
Do you have any advice for someone thinking of starting their own blog?