Twenty Five

Twenty five years ago this month I found myself pregnant. Honestly, that completely blows my mind. A quarter of a century? Really? I guess this really is my life.

It's still hard to believe how one decision has had such a far-reaching effect. And even though this is not the life I planned, God has not been surprised by any of it. He doesn't think I messed up. He knew all along the choices I would make. But God continues to love me and accept me and USE my mess ups for his glory.

Once my pregnancy was known, my mom and dad packed me up and looked for somewhere else for me to live. Those were the days of the maternity homes where girls went to visit 'auntie' for awhile only to return home nine months later like nothing ever happened.

My maternity home was comfortable, safe, and very far away from home. While sad and hard to understand, I can easily see now that God had a purpose in it. If my family would have been too close, I would have leaned on them to provide for my needs. As it was, I had no other options but to trust God. And because of that, my own personal faith in Jesus Christ was born.

Closed adoption was never forced on me. I just didn't see any other option. I was young and uneducated. And I had BIG dreams. Dreams of college and career and a family. Someday. When I was married. Way down the road.

So that's my story in a nutshell. I know I'm not alone. According to statistics, there are millions of you out there just like me. Caught in an era of shame and silence when our parents just wanted our children to go away and never to be spoken about again.

I'm Terri and I'll be blogging here on Thursdays so I'll see you next Thursday. I would love to hear from you. Tell me, why is it you have kept quiet for so long?


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