Thursday, June 30, 2011

Twenty Five

Twenty five years ago this month I found myself pregnant. Honestly, that completely blows my mind. A quarter of a century? Really? I guess this really is my life.

It's still hard to believe how one decision has had such a far-reaching effect. And even though this is not the life I planned, God has not been surprised by any of it. He doesn't think I messed up. He knew all along the choices I would make. But God continues to love me and accept me and USE my mess ups for his glory.

Once my pregnancy was known, my mom and dad packed me up and looked for somewhere else for me to live. Those were the days of the maternity homes where girls went to visit 'auntie' for awhile only to return home nine months later like nothing ever happened.

My maternity home was comfortable, safe, and very far away from home. While sad and hard to understand, I can easily see now that God had a purpose in it. If my family would have been too close, I would have leaned on them to provide for my needs. As it was, I had no other options but to trust God. And because of that, my own personal faith in Jesus Christ was born.

Closed adoption was never forced on me. I just didn't see any other option. I was young and uneducated. And I had BIG dreams. Dreams of college and career and a family. Someday. When I was married. Way down the road.

So that's my story in a nutshell. I know I'm not alone. According to statistics, there are millions of you out there just like me. Caught in an era of shame and silence when our parents just wanted our children to go away and never to be spoken about again.

I'm Terri and I'll be blogging here on Thursdays so I'll see you next Thursday. I would love to hear from you. Tell me, why is it you have kept quiet for so long?

Photo Credit


  1. I cannot wait to start reading more!! I have been reading the stories from" The Girls who went away" and I even have an on going blog going back and forth between those adoptions and mine and how they were so very different.

    Ill be checking in every Thursday!
    BirthMom since October 22, 2006

  2. Welcome Terri. Have you read The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler? (
    Reading that book gave me the courage to finally share my story. I'm looking forward to your Thursday posts. :)

  3. Though I'm not in a closed adoption (my daughter is only 19months old), I'm excited to read your story. Welcome to the blog! :-)

  4. Thanks for the messages of welcome! Glad to be here!

  5. So glad you are a part of our blogging team, Terri! Looking forward to getting to know you better through your posts!

  6. I think most bmoms suffer from feelings of guilt and shame--for giving her baby away, and/or for getting pregnant at a societally unacceptable age and/or life circumstance. I'm sure there are others as well. I struggled for a long time to get past these feelings...yet after 18 years, I realized I still felt them, as I instructed my 8 year old daughter not to tell anyone at school that she had a half brother out there...she couldn't understand why. Then it dawned on me, I was still ashamed for being an unwed teenage mom who gave her baby to someone I boldly decided, I had done what was best for my baby, not for me, and that I should be proud...regardless of what others may think. So I told my daughter to tell everyone she wanted to! I now no longer feel the shame and am Proud to be Birthmother! We sacrifice our hearts for the BEST for our babies...that is what we should focus on and feel proud of, not anything else.

  7. Yay Missy! So excited to hear of one more birthmom coming out of the darkness of shame and into the light of acceptance!