Wednesday, January 7, 2015


Hello there everybody!

I have been very busy these last few weeks with school and work and somehow in all the chaos I got to have an amazing visit with my daughter who just turned one last month.

This was my third visit since she was born and the weeks and days leading up are always nerve wracking. It has been about seven months since our last one, so we were all pretty nervous. This time the visit was going to be even more stressful because it was going to be a lot larger. My boyfriend and I were going to be accompanied by my mother and his mother. The plan was that our parents could meet her at a coffee shop for a little while and then my boyfriend, the adoptive parents, E and I could go to an aquarium.

Our parents have been very flip floppy on this whole adoption. My mother started out crazy and by the birth she understood my decision. My boyfriend's mother started out extremely supportive and then by the end was going crazy. She oh so conveniently forgot that she was not going to be able to go to the aquarium with us and she would have to leave after the coffee shop. She has had a lot of these moments in the last year and somehow she can make everything about her. I'ts frustrating and I could go on about that for days, but I won't bore you guys with that.

We ended up having an amazing visit. Of course there were a few bumps in the road with my boyfriends mom pretty much demanding that we open the presents with E instead of having her open them later. Anyone who has visits understands how scary and nerve wracking it can be. I never want to do anything to make her adoptive parents uncomfortable because they are her parents and even though we have a contract, they are the ones who help make the visits and the pictures happen.

My boyfriend's mom didn't make a scene and after some uncomfortable small talk we all felt comfortable. We got to take her out to an amazing day of fun and I got to see my eyes and lips on another little person. It is an amazing feeling to see yourself in someone else in pictures, but seeing this in person after waiting so long is indescribable.

Open adoption for me is amazing but I know that there are so many of us out there who never had that option. We all made the choices we thought were right at the time so you should never make yourself feel upset. My new philosophy for life is "everything happens for a reason". I am not religious so saying this makes me feel good at the end of the day.When I saw my daughter I knew that this placement and her birth had all happened for a reason. She was meant to be here and they were meant to be her parents.

I am wishing you guys all a happy and healthy new year!

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