Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Birthfather's Family

When Noah and I first locked eyes
(To this day I have never felt love like that)
I found out a couple months ago that Noah's birthfather was going to have another child with his girlfriend.  My thoughts? Shock, anger, curiosity, and most of all...I feel helpless.  I do not even know if his girlfriend knows about Noah.  Will their child grow up not knowing that she has a half sibling just 1 state away?

These unanswered questions are so tough.  I cope with them by not allowing myself to get to involved mentally.  I did tell the A-parents, only because I wanted Noah to know if he ever asked them.  I still don't know if I should send them a picture when she (its a girl) is born.  The birthfather has no relationship with the A -parents so I feel like my role is the messenger...which is not okay.

Adoption is a complicated, beautiful, sad, joyous thing.  There are two sides.  Each side includes all of these emotions.  I hope Noah grows up and eventually has a relationship with his half siblings (both on mine and the birthfather's side).  I have to accept that I can only do so much, which is a very hard thing to accept because I love my son more than I thought I could love anyone or anything.

Ending with a fun fact...I found out that our sweet baby's fingerprints were created by them tapping (or hitting) our wombs while we were pregnant.  How cool is that?!

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