When you start feeling like your world is getting away from you and you don't have any control over your emotions, it is time to find another support to use. It is hard for anyone to understand the pain you go through after an adoption. Counseling could be a really good resource to use to help cope and talk things out. I know a lot of the emotions I am feeling is guilt and sadness. My own personal story was not something I wanted so it seems to be hard for me to come to terms with and let go so that I can move on.
I know there are probably a lot of you out there that are feeling the same way I am feeling now. You should reach out and talk to someone here at BirthMom Buds. Leave a comment on a post and we can respond back or join the forums and write a post about how you are feeling. Having somewhere to go when your feeling down. It is important to heal. I know that I have to write every week so that it can be published on this site and it helps to know that I can write what I am feeling and someone out there is listening and understanding me. I also hope that my words will encourage and help someone else.
Just know you are never alone in any of this and everyone is more than willing to listen and be there for you. I love the fact that I can log on and go through all the different blogs and read what is going on in other birth mom's minds. A lot of the blogs are like someone is writing what is happening in my mind. It is a good thing to read those. My advice would be to log on everyday and read the blogs, I started going to the ones that I could relate to from my own story of adoption. I especially like some of the quotes and poems, they are beautiful and touching.
I am starting to write more and get my thoughts out, even though it is on paper and no one reads it, it does help. I feel like I am talking to someone and it is like a relief for me. I feel much better after I have written what is happening. So keep writing and expressing yourself, it can help heal you. It is a long hard road, but support is always here and available for you to use.