Maybe it's my age, but I'm still a firm believer in agency adoption. While expensive for the adoptive family I think a good, ethical agency is on everyone's 'side' and honors the wishes of the birthmother. The fees cover all counseling of the birthparents, all home study and related costs, as well as all legal fees. But probably the biggest service I feel adoption agencies offer is post-placement counseling for the birthmother.
I did have an agency adoption. And my counselor was open to post-placement counseling. But since I was thousands of miles away and Skype and email weren't readily available (I don't think they were invented yet), my only option was communicating with my counselor through handwritten letters. My folks would not hear of me going to a live counselor in our area.
I'm not saying agency adoptions are for everyone and it's important to note that the opinions in this post are solely my own and not the opinions of BirthMom Buds as a whole. I'm curious as to why you wouldn't choose an agency adoption. This is so interesting to me. I would love your feedback including your specific experience and your perceived pros and cons of that choice!