Thursday, October 27, 2011

Frantic Mistake

Ann* was frantic. I could hardly understand her. "I've made a horrible mistake," she said as I pressed the phone closer to my ear.

"I'm selfish and I shouldn't have done it. But I did. And now I can't take it back."

Calmly I told her to take a breath and then tell me the whole story. She said she had been curious about her daughter's birth mother. She said she had finally located her. Then late one night when she was on the computer, she sent her a note. What happened next, I'm not really sure. But to Ann it was awful.

"She says I took her child away from her and now she wants her back. What do I do?"

Since the adoption happened at birth and the daughter is now in her teens, I could tell that the birth mother was perhaps not in touch with all that is reality. However, she apparently was still deeply troubled by the experience.

"Did you tell your husband?" was the only rational thought that came to my mind.

"No. He'll be so mad at me. And he should be! I'm such a fool. This never should have happened."

"You can't take it back now," I started gently. "What needs to happen is that we need to hang up and you have to tell your husband immediately. I'll keep my phone close if you need to talk afterwards." 

As I prayed for my friend throughout that day, I wondered what was going through the birth mother's mind. What had this contact done to her? for her? Where was she emotionally? spiritually? And did she have any support?

I hope she has all of those things. I hope she has a support system like we do here. All I can do is pray and hope that she finds something to help her through.

* not her real name

1 comment:

  1. And does anyone think of the repercussions on the adoptee?