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M told me before I gave birth to Mini M that there was a bigger picture than the moment we stood in. Sure, it hurts now, but years later it will make sense. I created a list that told about my future big picture soon after placement, but I began to forget about it all when things got more challenging. Until now. She's right, there is a big picture. Much like my five year old's, if we paint in the same spot, or continue to live the same moments over and over and not venture out, we will tear and breakdown. So, for the sake of staying together and continuing to be one, I will look at the big picture. I will look at the need in the world and all the good that I can do because of my situation. I will see that Mini M is where she needs to be because she will forever and always have what she deserves and desires. I will look at the relationships formed because of this adoption.
If you are ever in a situation and you know you are about to rip or feel yourself slipping, change spots. Spread that out and make it a bigger picture. You have your entire life not just that second. Use it all.
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