Howdy folks! It's me again, with another BirthMom Buds reform blog.
When I started this blog, I received an email from a momma I've known for awhile now bringing up a couple pretty valid points in terms of reform: An expectant mother's right to change her mind, and the timeline of signing the TPR (terminating parental rights.)
To quote: "One of the things I have seen on many of the sites is slamming an expectant mom for changing their minds. I keep seeing nasty remarks about girls having to sign away their rights before the baby is born. NOT. But, I believe instead a woman should have the right to change their minds for up to 6 months after signing, I believe a girl should not be able to sign for 6 months after the birth giving them ample time to decide that it is the right decision for them."
I also agree that a woman should have ample time to make this life altering decision, without coercion or outside influence. So many factors come into play when signing early, like post partum depression, drugs during labor and delivery, and the emotional state of a woman when she's given birth. In any other legally binding contract, all of these things would nullify said contract, but not in adoption. I think a woman needs time to make this decision without those factors influencing her state of mind. It also makes her easily persuaded and I would like to think that people would want her making a decision like this when she's of sound mind.
And I cannot tell you how much I agree with not slamming a woman for changing her mind. Speaking legally here (because I believe a woman is a mother for life), when we give birth we are mothers until that TPR is signed. We have the RIGHT to choose which course we take. Pregnancy and considering adoption are two very confusing things to a woman faced with an unplanned, but very much wanted pregnancy. I think a lot of people could use some lessons in patience and compassion during this time, and respect should be given whether she chooses adoption, or chooses to parent. Judgement just adds to the coercion.
So, readers. What are your thoughts on this? Remember to keep it respectful please!
If you have any comments or suggestions for a reform blog, or if you would like to be interviewed please feel free to comment below or send me an email!