Thursday, March 20, 2014

Hold the Line

As you know, I have recently passed through Birthday Season. Now I would like to report that I have once more survived another birthday round unscathed. There have been years that have been peaceful. There have been years when the emotions didn't get the best of me. Unfortunately, that is not my story this year.

If you are joining us at the retreat in May, which I hope you are, I'm planning to host a breakout session on Boundary-setting. That workshop will include the shenanigans of this past week. I mean, I don't want to spoil it for you, but really? Is it really necessary to revisit these things after more than two decades? Apparently so.

And when someone in your circle steps over the boundary, the next logical question is What do I do now? Just so you know, I may be hosting this breakout session, but it's only so that I can relearn this stuff between now and then, because honestly, I'm stuck right now. This person, this boundary-breaker, is an important figure in my life and I'm stuck. They would like to just keep moving forward like nothing happened, but I can't do that. Not only did they step over the line, but they went so far as to call me names and say things to me that aren't true.

So in your experience, what have you done? How do you hold the line while keeping the relationship? It's so tempting to turn my back and walk away. But I'm not doing that. I made up my mind a long time ago that this person was going to be part of my life and I'm sticking to it.

Commercial over. Hope to see you in May. In the meantime, your advice is appreciated.

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