Music Monday: Pieces by Gary Allen

"We’ve all been lied to
We’ve all been liars
Nothing’s perfect in this world
Everybody’s been burned by the fire
Guess I’m learning
That what breaks you, makes you grow
But I’m not hiding where I’ve been
Gonna let the light shine in
What I don’t need
Gonna let that, let that, let that go"

Quote of the Week: Don't be Defeated!

"No man is defeated without until he has first been defeated within."

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Music Monday: In My Life by The Beatles

"Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more"

Quote of the Week: Be a First Rate Version of Yourself!

 

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."

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Hold the Line

As you know, I have recently passed through Birthday Season. Now I would like to report that I have once more survived another birthday round unscathed. There have been years that have been peaceful. There have been years when the emotions didn't get the best of me. Unfortunately, that is not my story this year.

If you are joining us at the retreat in May, which I hope you are, I'm planning to host a breakout session on Boundary-setting. That workshop will include the shenanigans of this past week. I mean, I don't want to spoil it for you, but really? Is it really necessary to revisit these things after more than two decades? Apparently so.

And when someone in your circle steps over the boundary, the next logical question is What do I do now? Just so you know, I may be hosting this breakout session, but it's only so that I can relearn this stuff between now and then, because honestly, I'm stuck right now. This person, this boundary-breaker, is an important figure in my life and I'm stuck. They would like to just keep moving forward like nothing happened, but I can't do that. Not only did they step over the line, but they went so far as to call me names and say things to me that aren't true.

So in your experience, what have you done? How do you hold the line while keeping the relationship? It's so tempting to turn my back and walk away. But I'm not doing that. I made up my mind a long time ago that this person was going to be part of my life and I'm sticking to it.

Commercial over. Hope to see you in May. In the meantime, your advice is appreciated.

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Support the BMB Retreat

The BirthMom Buds Retreat is quickly approaching, May 2-4, 2014 in Charlotte, North Carolina and the response has been overwhelming thus far. We are currently working to secure additional funds so that more birthmothers can attend this healing weekend retreat. If you'd like to support our efforts, please check out the Go Fund Me Page we have created for this purpose! 

Music Monday: Perfect by Pink

Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That's alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated
Misplaced
Misunderstood
Miss no way it's all good
It didn't slow me down.

Mistaken
Always second guessing
Underestimated
Look I'm still around

Quote of the Week: Three Constants in Life

 

 

 

"There are three constants in life...change, choice and principles."

 

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Disney's Frozen

Being a mommy to girls means we see every princess and princess-like movie that comes along. Disney's Frozen is no exception. Did you see it? Surely you've heard the song Let it Go. I cried at the song even in the theater. What a great message to me as a wife, mother, sister, woman, birthmom and person living in this world.

Here's my favorite part. Feel free to sing along:

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door

I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway

Ahh... those words. I know as a Believer in Jesus Christ I am free. But this world is so hard to live in sometimes that doubts and fears and shoulds and shouldn'ts seem to creep in despite my best efforts to guard against them. What girl doesn't need a power ballad in her repertoire for those tough times?

Anyway, I just wondered if anyone else felt that way I did about this song. Hope you are having a blessed week.

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Music Monday: Simple Man by Shinedown

Quote of the Week: Try!

“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.”

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The Birthday

I've been overly emotional the past couple of weeks and, honestly, with all that is going on since my husband's accident, it's no wonder. But when the calendar changed over to March on Saturday, things started becoming clearer. My birthdaughter's birthday is just a week away, and yet each year I seem to be surprised that March starts as soon as February ends.

So yesterday, when the kids were playing outside and the house was quiet, I sat down and wrote a note to my darling daughter. As I get older, I seem to be more and more interested in connecting with Katie in a mother-to-mother way than in a I-gave-birth-to-you way. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that we are raising children about the same age at the same time. Maybe it's my age. Maybe it's all the years of debating the rights and wrongs of open adoption, closed adoption and everything in between.

It's all just so exhausting, isn't it? To constantly be held in judgment; to constantly hold myself in judgment. Sometimes I just wish all of that stuff would go away so I could just have a friendship with her. So I could just have whatever relationship develops with her. And not feel like it should be something it's not.

So that's where I'm at. I hope you are having an easier time than me right now.

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Music Monday: Lost in Paradise by Evanescence

"I have nothing left
And all I feel is this cruel wanting
We've been falling for all this time
And now, I'm lost in paradise

Ohhh
One day we won't feel this pain anymore
Take it all away
Shadows of you
Cause they won't let me go"

Quote of the Week: Walk Beside Me

“Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”

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