Music Monday: All I can do by Tyrone Wells

"And I cant hold the hands of time

They will move like they will move

but I can hold your hand in mine, Give my time and give my heart,It's all that I can do."

Quote of the Week: Build a Door

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."

- Milton Berle

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Searching using Social Media

Did you see this this week on facebook? I was surprised when I logged in to find my friend had liked Sharon's post and promised to help spread the word. It's amazing how technology is changing the way birthchildren and their biological parents are connecting!

I wonder if Crystal (the daughter she is searching for) has seen this yet? or if she has and doesn't know it's her? or maybe she has and is mortified because she likes things just the way they are.

It's hard for me to put myself in those shoes. I've always known who I am and where I came from. I've always known I belonged to the family who surrounded me. Even in my 'black sheep' years, I had no doubt that my parents were my parents, and my extended family was just that.

I have a friend who, years after her father died, learned that she had a brother from a previous relationship. Her mother didn't even know. And now her mother and sister are slow to recognize this new brother as a part of their family.

How sad! Instead of harboring resentment towards her deceased husband, I wish she were able to embrace this new facet of her husband's past!

Anyway, I'm rambling. Somehow, all these thoughts are related.

Have a great day!

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Music Monday: This Ain't Goodbye by Train

"This ain't goodbye, It's not where our story ends
As long as we've got time, this ain't goodbye." 

Quote of the Week: Adjust your Sails

"When you can't change the direction of the wind, adjust your sails."

- H. Jackson Brown

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2013 Slideshow Submissions Call

Each year BirthMom Buds creates a slideshow featuring our members and our members’ children. The slideshow debuts at the BirthMom Buds Retreat and then is on the website afterwards. The slideshow is made to a different meaningful song each year, is a touching look at our members and their children, and is always a favorite among many of you.

We are looking for the following types of photos:
• Pregnancy pics
• Hospital photos
• Photos of you and your birth child if you are in an open adoption
• Photos of your child
• Photos of older birthmothers in reunion
• Photos with birthdads are good too!
• Triad photos – adoptive parent(s), birth parent(s), and child

Basically, send us your favorite photos and we will choose what fits the song and story line.  We will use at least one of the photos that every person sends and more as they pertain to the story line. High resolution photos are best.

If you send us your pictures you are giving us permission to use them. It’s your responsibility to OK the use of your child’s pictures from their adoptive parents. Once you email them to us, we will respond letting you know we have received them. If you don’t hear from us in a couple of days after submitting your photos, it probably means that we did not receive them so please check in with us.

Please email photos to birthmombuds@gmail.com and put “slideshow pics” in the subject line. Also, please put your name, your child’s name, your child’s age, and adoption type, and any other pertinent information regarding the people or what’s going on in the photos you are submitting.

Check out past slideshows to get a feel for what types of pictures we like to use:

A Birthmother’s Wish (2007)
A Birthmother’s Hope (2008)
Never Alone (2009)
You’ll be in my Heart (2010)
A Beautiful Goodbye (2011)
Dream Big (2012)

Deadline for submissions is April 10, 2013.

Music Monday: Stand Back Up by Sugarland

"Sometimes I'm afraid and don't feel that tough,
But I will stand back up." 

Quote of the Week: First Step

"The important thing is to take that first step. Bravely overcoming one small fear gives you the courage to take on the next."
- Daisku Ikeda

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Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother

For this week's post, I want to review a book by Xinran called Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother. Xinran is a Chinese journalist who has an amazing gift of getting women to tell her their stories. The stories of Chinese mothers driven to place their daughters for adoption or abandon them on the streets are beyond words.

Despite the fact that the book was originally written in Chinese and then translated to English, the author's voice is strong and compassionate and caring. As she learns about the harsh realities of the People's Republic of China, the reader is learning alongside her.

Her descriptions are vivid as she contrasts the dirt poor of the farm people with her own life as a city dweller. The first time she goes out to the country to interview a family, she is overwhelmed with the difference from her own existence.

We as the reader also learn, from the inside out, what the 'one-child policy' really looks like to those who have had to endure it.

Your time would be well-spent in reading this work. I know as birthmoms we have all struggled, but the women of China have been much worse off than most of us have ever dreamed of being.

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