Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Allow Me to Introduce Myself!

Hi there! My name is Elizabeth and I'm excited to be one of the new bloggers here at BirthMom Buds! I have a one and a half year old daughter who I placed for adoption in November of 2010 and I'll call her Arianna when I post - this is not her real name now, but it is the name I gave to her and the name that is on her original birth certificate. My hope is that I can be easy to relate to, and if my story (or any of the other posts on this blog for that matter) can help even one person who is facing an unplanned pregnancy, then I think I speak for everyone when I say that I will feel accomplished. I feel as though adoption stories are like snowflakes - no two are alike. Some may look the same if you look quickly, but if you dig a little deeper, each one is different. I'm still learning as I go, and I've realized that there is no blanket category for birth moms. We are all unique, and that's what makes this journey so amazing. Granted, I know there are very high highs and can be very low lows, but no matter how you look at it, "birth-motherhood" is amazing (in my opinion)!

Each one of us brings something new to the table. Some of us have completely closed adoptions, others have very open adoptions, and others are in between. I fall into the "in between" category. My adoption is very open in many ways...all information is disclosed, including last names, addresses, phone numbers and emails, but I don't have face-to-face visits yet. We Skype (which is wonderful!), but do not speak in person. I struggle with this sometimes, because at the time I placed her, visits were not something I wanted. I didn't even know if I could handle seeing photos of her, let alone seeing her in person and leaving her again. So visits were never really brought up, and I was fine with it. A few months after placement and regular contact with her adoptive parents, I realized that I wasn't in the right state of mind at the time, and that I did want to spend time with her. Long story short, her adoptive parents kindly told me that they personally would rather wait until she is "older," but that I can always feel free to discuss it with them because nothing is set in stone and they do want me to be a part of her life. So, in many ways, I feel like I can relate to the girls who have closed adoptions as well as girls who have extremely open adoptions.

I could go on forever! I'll save it for more focused posts in the future, though. I look forward to blogging with these wonderful women and hope that I can bring something great to the table as they all have! Before I sign off - if you could go back to the beginning (say, at the time that you were in the hospital), is there anything you would change about your experience? Possibly spending more time with your child in the hospital, or setting different "ground rules" for what you would have liked to see in the future in your adoption?

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