Spotlight Blogger: Meet Debbie

Deb with Monkey, the son she placed

I have to admit I was pretty excited to feature Debbie.  As a long-time blog follower and friend, I've knowledge about her story.  I love her insights and the way she writes her blog.  Without further ado, my interview with Debbie.

First, please tell us a bit more about yourself (name, age, where you live, what led you to making an adoption plan, and anything else you feel comfortable sharing). 

I am Debbie, 25 and living in Seattle. My adoption plan was born from a lot of different thoughts -- first, I had always 'known' I would have a baby for someone else. Then was the incredible broke-ness I was living in. There was also the (emotionally at that point) abusive boyfriend and a rocky relationship. I was just not ready to be a mother, and especially not with him as the father.

When and why did you begin blogging? 

I had to look that up -- January 11, 2011. I just missed my blog's birthday, BOO! Initially it was a way to just get my story out there, back when it was a good story to tell. I knew there were not many birthmother voices out there and it is a side (as all sides are) that needs to be reachable.

Tell us more about the title of your blog.  Why did you choose it? 

'Marginally a Mother' was originally 'Complications of a Mastermind' after a Red Hot Chilli Peppers Song. The lyrics go : 'Complications of a master mind, last temptation of my kind. Interplanetary sign, when will we collide?' It was kind of a nod to how alone it felt, how much I felt like this was all meant to be but we would eventually collide -- B's family and I. The title became 'Marginally a Mother' because I did not want people to think I was stuck up, thinking of myself as a mastermind. It more perfectly fits anyway, especially now when I am marginally a mother to Monkey (my placed son) and marginally a (step) mother to Sugar Butt (my boyfriend's son from another relationship).

Has the response to your posts been mostly positive, mostly negative, or a mix of both? 

Positive, thankfully. I have gotten a lot of support, but also a lot of chances to just get my reality out there. It has allowed me to somewhat educate people about how it feels to be the birthmother in a closed(broken) adoption and how to best connect with their child's birthmom.

What post on your blog do you consider a “must read” for people visiting your blog for the first time?  Or what post(s) from your blog is (or are) your favorite(s) and why?

I would say 'Whatever You Do, DON'T' is my favorite post right now.  It is informative and real -- and useful to the world.  A must read? Well, obviously my story (the whole first month, really).

Do you have any advice for someone thinking of starting their own blog?

Do it. Do it for yourself, and for the adoption world. Get your voice out there and you will learn from others, they will learn from you. I think it is super worth it, even if you only post twice a month. Adoption is a close knit world, even online.