"You can let the grief control you or you can control the grief." ~ Author UnknownI love this quote. I came across it awhile back and wrote it down. I don’t remember exactly where I found it though.
In the beginning of being a birthmother, the grief controlled me. I think that’s only normal in the beginning of something life altering, like relinquishing a child. There were days that I thought the grief would win and take over my life. But slowly, I began to realize that I couldn’t go on like that forever. I had to take control of the grief. I’ve learned that I have a choice.
Each day, when I wake up, I have a choice. I can choose to get up, deal with the grief that comes to me that day, and do something with it and about it. Or I can choose to stay in my bed, have the biggest one person pity party in the world, and let the grief win.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t have days where the grief feels all consuming and I just want to stay in bed, pull the covers over my head, and hide from the world. Believe me, I do have days like that! And giving yourself permission to have one of those days every once in awhile is ok. And when it feels like the grief is going to win, I do something - like reach out to a fellow Birthmom Bud or journal.
But most days, I get out of bed and push myself forward. I will not let the grief win! I will!
So, I ask you, which is it going to be today? Is the grief going to control you or will you control the grief?