As birth mothers, we face those milestone moments in our child’s life in a very different way than other mothers. There is the normal excitement as our children grow and learn new things, but there is also a deep sadness and longing because we are often not there to witness these things first hand. It is easy to feel left out of our children’s big moments because we are not the ones who get to see these things happen and experience the joy of these moments with them.
The time is coming in my son’s life for another one of these milestones, and I can’t help but have a heavy heart knowing I will not be there to witness it. Aidan is starting Kindergarten this year. I am beyond excited for him to begin his journey with school and enjoy all the fun things he will get to do and learn. I just wish I was the one who would be walking him into his classroom and holding back tears as I had to leave him on his first day. I know I will get pictures, and I enjoy having the opportunity to see these special events, but it is in no way the same as actually being there. While I am so thankful for the pictures and I always want more, in some ways it can make it harder at times. It gives me the chance to see even more clearly the joyful things I am missing out on.