Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Finding Out

Sorry I have been on a little bit of hiatus lately. The stress of school, work, and being a birthmom was a little much for a bit. We all have our bad times, this one just lasted a few weeks. I am doing 100% better now and I feel better than I have in a long while.

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant. That day was March 5th 2013. It was probably one of the hardest days of my entire life, besides placement day. I was a freshman in college and my period was a little over a week late. I had taken a test 3 days before and it was negative, so this test was just the last one I was going to take to convince myself that I wasn't pregnant and that it was just stress from school. But oh was I so wrong. At first the test wasnt working so I put it away to go to class. I thought it was a dud. When I came back from class I saw those two little pink lines that changed my life forever.

I feel like you make up hypothetical situations as a woman. I would always say "if I ever got pregnant.. blah blah blah" and tell some line about how I was never going to have children. But when that white stick comes back positive, everything that you ever knew goes out the window. I knew my life was going to change no matter what that meant. Those three options are all you can think about.
I barely knew the father and I knew what his stance on the pregnancy was. I have always been pro choice but just something about termination just didn't sit right with me. I would never tell another woman what to do with her body, but I just didn't want to do that. And today a little over two years after finding out, I could not be happier with my decision to continue my pregnancy and give my baby the best life I could give her. I am still pro choice but I love that little girl so much and I couldn't imagine my life without her in it.

As women we need to be there for each other, no matter what that means. I had my best friend in my life who was able to help me. I can never thank her enough for that. Groups like these are amazing and are so much help when you need it. I have connected with so many amazing people through adoption and I am so thankful for all of them. 

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