Thursday, August 16, 2012

The Response

Well my response to my aunt's letter is about done. If you missed last week's edition, you can catch up here. I'm still a little surprised how good that grief validation feels after 26 years.

Even though I have been praying about what to say and how to say it, it all looks different on paper, you know? I've written some things that I have been surprised about. I've also left things out that should be in there.

Mostly I just told my aunt how much I love her and have in her both a friend and a confidant. I wish I could be there when she reads my letter so I know my words are interpreted as they are intended. But more than that, I wish I could thank her in person. Look her in the eyse and tell her how much her words mean to me and the healing of my soul. Put my arms around her and squeeze her tight.

I guess her letter had another impact on me that I didn't realize at first. She's aging, as we all are, and she will die some day. It's hard to get older and lose loved ones. It's hard to see the ones who have loved me and supported me in dark times pass away.

I'm thankful for my aunt's letter. I'm glad to know what she has been feeling all these years and have the opportunity to respond to it. I would prefer to know now than after she passes away when it's too late to respond, too late to tell her what she means to me.

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  1. I agree with you. It's better to know now, and even though you can't be there to convey how you feel in person, you do a great job of it on this blog. My point is that this is writing to an audience just as writing a letter to your aunt is and I think when she reads it you'll have conveyed everything you want to say.

    1. Hey Monika! Thanks for the words of encouragement. The letter is in the mail... finally! So now I wait.