Friday, November 25, 2011

Spotlight Blogger: Meet Red

Red and her parented daughter, Cookie
Today's featured spotlight blogger is Red of One More Day....A Birth Mother's Story.  Let's find out a little bit more about Red....

First, please tell us a bit more about yourself (name, age,where you live, what led you to making an adoption plan, and anything else you feel comfortable sharing).

They call me Red, mostly because I am a redhead, but also because I sometimes (ok, most of the time) have super rosy cheeks. I used to cover it up with makeup but lets face it, when you are the working mom with a rambunctious toddler at home all that "pretty" stuff goes out the window (yes, I know the picture is gorgeous, that is what lots of makeup and good photography will do for you). I am a 25 year old birth mom and single mom all-in-one. My son, Dawson, was born in January of 2003 and placed with his family 3 days after he was born. I was 16 when he came along, and my main reasons for choosing adoption were based on the lack of trust and adulthood between myself and his birth dad. I had planned on parenting, but realized late in my pregnancy that I was unprepared for the reality of being his mom, and his bio-dad, J, was even less prepared. I knew my baby would need steady and mature parents who could handle giving him what he needed. You can read the whole story on my blog. I am happy to have an open relationship with Dawson and his family, I try to talk to them often and we visit about once a year.

Seven years after placing Dawson I managed to find myself once again single and pregnant, the father was no more than an outlined hole in the wall once he found out I was expecting. This time being a mature and able adult (although still scared of leaving my baby without a father) I chose to parent. My daughter, Cookie, is now a rambunctious and squawking19-month old tornado who I pretty much live for. We met Cookie's "real" dad when she was already 6 months old, A is my boyfriend and another reason why I advocate for love over blood any day. We all live together in a house filled with love and the low-pitched bark of our boxer, Heidi.

When and why did you begin blogging?

I started a blog back in 2009 for my family to keep up with my adventures. I never was very good at keeping up with it, but I ran across several other blogs about adoption that I began to follow. My sister (who is an adoptive mom) had me write a post for her blog late in 2010 and I found a graet release in the writing. A few friends and family members started asking me to write about my other experiences. I decided to just start with my story and then write when I felt the need. Lately that has been more and more.The further I get into it the more I delve into areas I never expected to go. I find myself seeking out other birth moms and wanting to express more of my emotions as well. It's been quite a journey so far, and I'm sure there are many more things for me to learn.

Tell us more about the title of your blog.  Why did you choose it?

"One More Day" was the name of a song by Diamond Rio that was a favorite of mine. It always stuck in my brain, and helped me to express how I felt after placement. When choosing a name for my blog it was all that kept going through my head. I always wished I had one more day to spend, but also knew that another day would simply leave me wanting more and more.

Has the response to your posts been mostly positive, mostly negative, or a mix of both?

Definitely positive, I haven't seen the negative responses yet. I am sure there are many people who disagree with the way I see things, but I will always try to foster a spirit of cameraderie on my blog. I am ok with people disagreeing as long as they are respectful about it. 

What post on your blog do you consider a “must read” for people visiting your blog for the first time? Or what post(s) from your blog is (or are) your favorite(s) and why?

I think they are all very close to my heart, but the one that seems to get most people to respond is called "What NOT to say to a Birth Mother." It was the original post I talked about that I wrote for my sister. It was the post that started it all.
Do you have any advice for someone thinking of startingtheir own blog?
Be honest, even to yourself. Actually that works for pretty much everything. :D

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