Some women live in denial for years by pretending it didn't happen. This only creates a false sense of reality. In order to truly grieve, it’s important to acknowledge the birth and subsequent loss of your child. It’s perfectly appropriate to be sad. Or mad. Or whatever you’re feeling.
Cry. Scream. Run. Write. Pray.
Do whatever you need to do to get your feelings out. Rinse and repeat. Be prepared to set aside time regularly to do these things. Be it every day or every week, expect to set aside this time for grieving for as long as it takes to come to a place of acceptance and peace. Be prepared to be okay for awhile and then feel the need to start up your self-care routine again.
It may sound silly to schedule grief on your calendar like you would a root canal, but knowing you are purposefully setting aside time each day to grieve may actually make your day go more smoothly. It may give you a clear head with which to complete the rest of your responsibilities. As long as you are expressing your grief in a healthy way, you’ll be okay. It’s when we try to bury living grief that we get into trouble. Living things don’t stay buried forever. That’s why sooner or later, those who try to deny their experience fall apart. They can’t hide the truth from themselves forever.