Every year around the holidays, it's hard for my family and I. There's always that space on the mantle where Micah's stocking should be, that last minute holiday party that Micah should be attending, or the Christmas morning joy that we should be experiencing together. This year is especially tough. After going through months and months of medical tests and doctors visits and scary diagnosis', part of me just wants him here even more. I hate the fact that I can only see him during Christmas at an agency party. I hate the fact that I can't watch him open his presents on Christmas morning. I hate the fact that he's not here. I just miss him so much.