Thursday, September 12, 2013
In our Churches
In a continuing attempt to locate The Others, I am spit balling where I think they may be. No, I don't think they are all together in some undisclosed location. I think they are right here in our towns and cities living among us. That's where we live, right? So why should it be any different for them?
Who are The Others, you ask? Birthmothers who have moved on with their lives but have never forgotten about that child they placed two or more decades ago. That's who I'm talking about. I love it that the younger generation is so open about their adoption and are getting connected with each other. But that's not always how it's been.
So today's entry focuses on another likely place to find them, namely, churches. I know not all of you are church goers, but for those of us who are, listen up. In an attempt to draw some of these other women out, I have been very vocal about my experience with adoption. A couple years ago, my pastor even let me give my testimony from the pulpit during a morning worship service as part of his message during each of our services. A God-appointment to be sure.
While my reason for doing that is because God makes me talk about it, it's also an opportunity to put a face to an actual birthmother while dispelling any lingering myths. It's amazing what happens when you throw out the word "adoption" in a roomful of people. You can just see the ripples, can't you?
Anyway, back to my point, which is that some of these ladies are in our churches. One reason is because they were raised in an era where you took your kids to church. Even if they didn't believe in God themselves, many from that generation started going to church once they had their own kids.
But more than that, a lot of women come to church to find forgiveness and acceptance. While they may have moved on with their lives in some ways, there may still be a hole or an emptiness in their souls.
Many of these women have never connected with their birthchildren. They are from an era of closed adoption with no plans to ever reunite. Many of them believe that there is no reuniting in this life. How can they believe that, you ask? Because that's what many were told.
I encourage you to be aware that these women are all around you. They are in your neighborhoods and in your churches. Know that you are not the only one who is hurting.