How I Was Made

Last week, Coley posted about the comment "I could never do that". I, too, have experienced that comment, but in a slightly different way.

Over the years, I have had opportunities to speak publicly and privately about my experience with unexpected pregnancy and closed adoption. At different times, God has given me a voice and a stage, and so I have taken them and spoken out. I share from my heart my story and whatever else God tells me to at that particular time.

Maybe I talk about my experience too much. My best friend confronted me a couple of years ago and asked me, almost in disgust, how I could talk about such personal matters so easily. She reflected on her own past, looked at me and said, "I could never do that."

It seems like lately, everywhere I turn, I keep getting the same message from God. Has this ever happened to you? You're listening to the radio and suddenly the announcer says something that seems to be aimed right at you and your particular situation. Or you have a random conversation where God seems to be giving you direction and insight through the mouth of the other person.

This is what it's been like for me lately. Everywhere I turn, I'm getting the same message. In my personal reading time. In my conversations. Everything is saying the same thing. "God created us each with a specific purpose. We have to do what we love. Otherwise we'll never keep on doing it."

So my response to my friend's "I could never do that" is this: I can't not do it. I can't not speak and write and tell my story. It is what God has done for me. That place is where I have seen Jesus up close and personal. And as a result, I have been changed forever.

Early in my marriage, I sat down with my husband and asked him if he was okay with what I felt called to do. It was one thing to be single and share my story when and where I wanted. But after getting married, he became part of it. So I asked him what he thought. And his answer was the same: "You can't not speak out. This is what God has done in your life. This is what you are called to do with it."

Ahh. Glad I got that off my chest. I feel so much better. Now if I could just figure out why God is reminding me of that so much recently... I'll let you know as soon as I know.

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