So last week I told you that my faith was born out of the drama of my unplanned pregnancy. How did that happen? What did it look like? What drove me to that place?
All good questions. You already know I was sent far away from home and lived in a maternity home. It was there I met and saw people serving as nurses and house parents and counselors. People who didn’t know me or my family or my particular situation.
But they didn’t care. They were there to love me and support me physically as I moved through my pregnancy; mentally as I worked through the various decisions that needed to be made; emotionally as I dealt with very grown-up subject matter at a young age; and mostly spiritually, as they were the hands and feet of Jesus loving me, smiling at me, hugging me, praying for me and teaching me about Jesus and his love for me.
While I had grown up in church, I never connected church with real life until I went there. Yes, I heard about Jesus and the Bible there, but I also saw it in action. In my day, being pregnant outside of marriage was shameful. It was not something boasted about or flaunted. It was something to be hidden and not discussed.
My parents went to great lengths to hide my pregnancy from everyone they could, even family members. I was not allowed to return home until my pregnancy was over and done with and I could fit back into my regular clothes. And then only with strict instructions that no one was to know. Ever.
The irony is that when I got home and saw my best friend, she knew all about my pregnancy because the birthfather had spread the news all over school.
But while I was at the maternity home, I was encouraged by people speaking kind and loving words to me. People looking me in the eye and treating me like a hero for choosing life. They didn’t look through me or around me. They weren’t afraid of catching my sin. They reached out to me and showed me what Jesus was really like.
They understood that while my family was ashamed, Jesus was not. Yes, I had made a mistake that had lead to pregnancy, but he had not turned away from me. In fact, more than ever he wanted a relationship with me.
So one day, knowing I was beat and had nowhere else to turn, I got down on my knees by my bed and asked Jesus to take over my life.
It’s amazing that when you have nothing left but Jesus, you realize he is all you really need.
Have you come to that point in your life yet? I love hearing from you.
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Your experience does have some similarities to mine. While I was also raised going to church, I didn't figure out how to LIVE my religion until after I got pregnant. The journey of pregnancy was also a spiritual journey for me. I agree with your statement: "It’s amazing that when you have nothing left but Jesus, you realize he is all you really need." So true.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing Terri. I'm enjoying learning more about you & your experiences.
It's hard to believe that even the faithful today--at least a great number of them--do not show the love that Jesus did...I mean, he hung around with prostitutes and lepers! He loved equally, and forgave so easily! Why do more so-called Christians not adopt the TRUE WWJD attitude?
ReplyDeleteYeah, most of the Christians these days don't give a flip about birthmothers, and most agree with taking babies from them. If that is what Jesus is like, who would want that???
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