Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The "Perfect" Family

Are you searching for the perfect family for your child?  Many times I have heard expectant mothers making adoption plans comment that they are searching for the perfect family to adopt their child. I have seen some mothers choose families pretty quickly as they find a family that meets what they are looking for easily while others may struggle, take a long time looking through profiles of prospective couples, interview and meet with multiple couples, and have a harder time finding a family that meets what they are looking for.

What constitutes a perfect family? Is it two parents? Is it a couple who is financially stable? Is it a family where one parent can stay at home with the children?

Let’s be realistic; there is no perfect family. While we want the absolute best for our children, a perfect family just doesn’t exist whether it’s biological or adoptive. When I was pregnant and thinking about what type of family I wanted for Charlie, the word “real” kept coming to mind. I’m not perfect, I make mistakes, and I wanted a real family for Charlie.

It is a good idea to make a list of attributes or qualities that you wish for the adoptive family to have but you should also keep in mind that all of those variables could change. Later on, one of the parents could lose their job making them unstable financially, the stay at home Mom you wanted could decide to go back to work, or the two parent family becomes a single parent family through divorce. If you want a very open adoption and are purposely choosing a family that lives near by for that very reason, keep in mind that the family could move.

Just as with life, things change and the circumstances and situations of the adoptive family you choose could change too so don't concentrate so much on finding a picture perfect family as finding a good family that meets what you are looking for.

For a list of possible questions to ask prospective adoptive families, check out this link.

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