Friday, July 25, 2014

BMB Reform Blog: Coley's Thoughts

Our Beautiful Coley
    Hello again readers!  I am sorry it has taken me a bit to put my second blog up.  It has been one crazy hectic month over here!

    For this blog, I thought I would start with a question and answer session with none other than one half of the founders of BMB...Coley!  We all know and love her, so I thought it would be a great idea to get inside her head a bit and see why adoption reform is important to her!  


1.  Please tell us your name and a brief intro to your story.
Well, I’m Coley and if you’re reading this blog, you probably know who I am! In one sentence, I placed my son in an open adoption directly following his birth twelve years ago. Since then, I co-founded BirthMom Buds with Leilani and I have been active in the adoption community writing, speaking, and educating others about the bittersweet turmoil an expectant mother considering adoption and birthmothers face. If you’d like to read my adoption story in its entirety, you can do so here.

2.  Are there any aspects of adoption you would like to see changed?
There are so many issues in adoption that need to be changed that I could write multiple pages on them but the one that I think doesn't get enough air time so to speak is singing relinquishment papers in the hospital. I think signing papers in the hospital while recovering from childbirth needs to be outlawed. Signing papers to terminate your parental rights is a HUGE decision one that deserves to be treated with somber importance. Divorce papers or even papers to buy a house are signed in offices or court rooms and in my opinion treated with more importance than signing relinquishment papers cross legged in your pajamas sipping a soda on a hospital bed. At the very least they could be signed in an office or conference room in the hospital.

A couple of other issues I find important are separate (from the adoptive parents) legal representation for placing mothers, open adoption contracts, more uniform adoption laws from state to state (to eliminate state shopping), access to birth certificates for adoptees, and better rights for biological fathers.

3.  What does adoption reform mean to you and why do you think it's important?
Adoption reform means working together as a community of birth parents, adoptive parents, adoptees, adoption professionals, and anyone with a heart or passion for adoption coming together with a common goal to improve adoption for all involved.

Also, I think it’s important to keep in mind that just because one is passionate about adoption reform doesn't necessarily mean they had a bad adoption experience or they are angry. While my adoption experience has been mostly positive, through this vast community of birthmothers I have learned that positive experiences are not always the norm. There is much work to do, my friends.

Much thanks to Coley for participating in this!  Wonderful answers!!

If you or anyone you know would like to be interviewed for this section, or if you have an important reform topic you would like discussed, please feel free to email me!  I look forward to hearing from you!

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