Holiday Memories

I remember growing up and always being so excited about Christmas and the New Year and being able to make cookies for Santa and also having that special NYE kiss at midnight with that one special person. Now, that I have all of those things now that I am older I now am starting to look at Christmas and New Years Eve a lot differently. When my children had their first Christmases they were the most special to me and I was so happy to see their faces when they saw what Santa had gotten them for the big day. And also going to the church service the night before and having them be a part of that. This year, because of the adoption, I didn't think that I would enjoy the holidays as much. Thanksgiving was probably the hardest for me, as you may have seen I haven't posted in a few weeks. I actually thought that I would be angry, sad or mad, but actually because I have such a great family it was filled with love, laughter, and "OMG IT'S A BOX" (an inside joke that we came up with while opening gifts at my in-laws). Those things happen every year, there is always something that we come up with.

My favorite thing, was getting to open the gifts from our adoptive couple. We weren't even expecting gifts from them, we never do. Trent got an awesome game for the Wii, as well as the kids were given an amazing gift card so that would help us with Christmas this year, because we didn't really think we would be able to afford gifts this year. Also, getting the gift from my Secret Sister really made my day as well. Probably out of all the gifts from everyone was my locket and bracelet that was given to me by E's mom and dad. They had pearls on them, pearls are the birthstone for June, the month that E was born in. I think that I cried more with that than with anything else. I have tried wearing the locket a couple of times but it's really loud, not in a bad way, but it makes me laugh because I'm a loud person so it kind of went with everything. Also, on Christmas I received a picture of E in this "little elf" onesie and I all I could do was smile. Knowing that he is getting all of these traditions with other people does sometimes make me sad, and I wish I could have seen him open his first gift, or eat his first cookie. But seeing him be with some of the most amazing people that I know was great enough, and I was lucky enough to not shed any tears on Christmas. As much as I thought that I would be so upset and sad I really had the most amazing time with my mom&dad, my husband, my beautiful children, as well as my in-laws. It was so nice, because my sister-in-law is pregnant and it reminded me of when I was pregnant last year with E and it made it even more amazing, to know that her beautiful daughter will be here next year for me to spoil and everyone to hold and love on. I always believe this that with every adoption comes a miracle of life born into a family...and lucky enough my hunch was right and when we had E she told us the day after that she was pregnant and it just made me so ecstatic to know that I was going to be an aunt, and for that little girl to grow up knowing about E and being able to one day be able to spend time with each other.

I wanted to let everyone know that Christmas is about love, blessings, and sharing time with your family near and far. Not all of us are lucky enough to be able to see our birth children, or know about their day. But I was lucky enough to know about it and be able to see him (I didn't get to in person although that is the the goal one day to be there for one of his Christmases) but being able to see a picture melts and warms my heart to the core.

I hope that everyone had a great Christmas, and has an amazing New Year. Remember 2011 is a new year, a new time, and a time to cherish what we do have, and not to be angry or harsh about what we don't have.

And I must make a public apology to my secret sister, for being so late on your gift, I really hope that it got to you on time.

Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year to ALL of you. You are all in my thoughts everyday.

-Alicia-