As birth mothers, we face those milestone moments in
our child’s life in a very different way than other mothers. There is the
normal excitement as our children grow and learn new things, but there is also
a deep sadness and longing because we are often not there to witness these
things first hand. It is easy to feel left out of our children’s big moments
because we are not the ones who get to see these things happen and experience
the joy of these moments with them.
The time is coming in my son’s life for another one
of these milestones, and I can’t help
but have a heavy heart knowing I will not be there to witness it. Aidan is
starting Kindergarten this year. I am beyond excited for him to begin his
journey with school and enjoy all the fun things he will get to do and learn. I
just wish I was the one who would be walking him into his classroom and holding
back tears as I had to leave him on his first day. I know I will get pictures,
and I enjoy having the opportunity to see these special events, but it is in no
way the same as actually being there. While I am so thankful for the pictures
and I always want more, in some ways it can make it harder at times. It gives
me the chance to see even more clearly the joyful things I am missing out on.
Yes, this is it exactly! No one else gets it. They see the great relationship and think it must be perfect. But you explained it perfectly that sometimes the pictures just provide a clearer picture of what I am missing. I love the pictures but they hurt sometimes.
ReplyDeleteIt still hurts17 years later, for me. It gets easier o handle, but it doesn't stop.
ReplyDeletethank you both for commenting. We all share a special bond through our unique pain. Stay strong!! <3
ReplyDelete