All the recent disasters both natural and personal have got me thinking; how can we know our own way? How can we understand our situation in light of the 'big picture'? What is the meaning of it all? And what the heck is really going on?
This post talks about the Bible, so consider yourself warned if you continue reading. The book of Proverbs has been of considerable interest to me over the years, but specifically this past year. While being considered a 'wisdom book' it is also very practical. I'm a practical gal. I need to be told what is right, what is wrong and what I should be doing. I don't need fancy words; short and sweet works for me. That's why I like this book.
On Monday morning, I read these words: "A man's steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way?" Later that same day, a tornado devastated the town of Moore, Oklahoma. I bet there were many people that day wondering what the heck was going on and why.
Incidentally, the cross-references for this verse includes Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." The Bible is actually asking me to put all my eggs in one basket regardless of whether or not I know what is going on. Regardless of what the future holds. Regardless of what my present holds.
I think this is a pretty brazen request. I think this life is hard. Actually, I know this life is hard. And so often I don't want to trust; I don't even want to think; I just want to act. I want to fix it, and if I can't fix it, I at least want to do something to help.
My heart has been broken this week over another natural disaster, yet there's nothing I can do about it.
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It is SO HARD to trust in God when things like this happen. I've had a lot of personal tragedy this month in my life, as well as all that's going on in the world. I think I talked to you a bit in Charlotte about my wavering shaky faith in God as it is right now. Sometimes, when you get slapped in the face by adoption, when you live the darker side of it like I do, it's so tough. I find myself getting angry with God instead of trusting in him, which then brings about guilt. It's a confusing road this one. Thank you for the post!
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