Thursday, September 13, 2012

Hide 'n Seek

I was with my Mom recently and she walked into the room as I was scrolling through my Facebook wall. There, right in front of me, was a picture of my birth daughter on the floor with her son. At that moment, my mom walked into the room for something completely unrelated. I quickly closed my laptop and focused on her, glad for the miss but nervous about the nearness of it.

Am I the only one hiding my relationship with my birthchild from someone? Who are you hiding it from?

My mom and I have an awesome relationship. We have made huge strides the past several years. And yet I have stopped at the threshold of sharing this with her. Why?

I think part of it is selfishness on my part. I honestly don't think I'm bitter ..  at least I would like to think that. This relationship with my oldest daughter isn't about her. It's about me. And I think I'm scared that if I share it with her it will turn into being about her birthgranddaughter instead of my birthdaughter. Does that make sense?

So am I the only one? or are you hiding something about your relationship too?



Photo credit

4 comments:

  1. No one in my family knows about my Little Man except my older children. They helped me pick out the AP. I completely understand.

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  2. I totally understand where you are coming from. I do the hide-n-seek game too. I'm new to the 'reunion phase' and I feel like I can't get enough information or pictures of my birthson. However, I don't want to come off to my family and friends as obsessed. haha Actually it's just that I'm sort of in awe of him since I didn't know him for 18 years, and yeah I want to play catch up. It's the same fascination I have with my daughter, who is 4...but I get to see all the strides in her life and I didn't get that with him so I'm always checking facebook, etc. There is somewhat of a hesitancy and/or secrecy to it for me as well. I can totally relate. :)

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  3. I can relate bc though i know my birth son has parents that care for him and love him i want to just check on him or things as much as I can. It is a very private and personal thing....I care for him and still feel duty as his birth mother and I think it is a natural thing. God Bless...and my heart goes out to all of the loving birth mothers!

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  4. Thanks for the comments ladies. Glad to know I'm not alone!

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