Going Public

Since my closed adoption, I have struggled with many things. This was one of them. Finally I got so tired of keeping my secret that I told everyone I could just so I didn't have to carry it all by myself any more.

I don’t know that the goal of every one of our struggles is standing on the stage and confessing them to large groups of people. But again, I do believe there is power in speaking the words out loud and bringing them out of the darkness and into the light. Each of us has to trust God to show us and make it clear to us if and when we are to share our experiences with other people.

A couple of years ago, I was working with a group of women in a recovery ministry. One of the women was a prominent member of the church but came to the group confessing that as a pastor’s daughter, she was repeatedly sexually abused growing up. She felt convicted that she was finally healthy enough to share her story with other women and help promote healing. All through our meetings together, she held firmly to that belief even though the spiritual warfare going on in her life was unimaginable.

Suddenly and without warning, she quit the group, quit the church and disappeared. She stopped returning phone calls. And the next time I saw her, she totally ignored me and kept walking.

That is still such a sad scene for me. This woman was so loving and encouraging to everyone in our group. But she just couldn't get over her shame. Trust God. I know that doesn't make it easier, but he will guide you and encourage you and give you the strength necessary to walk the path you need to walk in order to find healing.

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