A couple months ago, I noticed that I often had the urge to tell C something. "I love you" or "I miss you" or "You're really just TOO cute!" Since I don't have the everyday option of snuggling him and telling him these things, I came up with another plan.
I scoured the $.99 card aisle at my local Target for cute, kid-friendly cards in themes like "missing you", "thinking of you", "love you"... or just blank notecards. I also got a nice box that was made for DVDs... which happen to be about the same size as standard gift cards.
Now, when I have those feelings, I grab a card from my bookshelf. The notes have ranged from serious to silly, depending on what I'm feeling at the time. It offers me an outlet to let out whatever emotion is welling up inside me, and it will provide C with some tangible evidence of just how often I think of him! It also keeps me from having to remember all the little things I want to share with him at some point... I know they are all written down and available to him when he's ready.
I put a date on the outside of the card and mark any special occasion it relates to. I also keep notes of dates that contain sensitive information. That way, if he's still pretty young and needs some evidence that I love him and think about him a lot, I can pull out any that might be inappropriate for his age and let him open all the cutesey ones. There are also a few that I think would be great to give him on special days later- his baptism, graduation, etc. I'm sure I'll write a new card then, too, but I hope this will be something special to share!
Do you have anything special you do to let your children know you're thinking about them?
I just placed my baby boy for adoption on November 16, 2009. One thing I wanted most for him was that he would one day know the people he came from. I decided part way through my pregnancy that I would start keeping a journal for him. I would write about things that I would feel as they would come up. I would also write about him throughout my pregnancy. I have kept the journal to document the year after I placed him so that I can give it to his parent's to give to him one day. Now, having placed him, I write about the important lessons I am learning as I navigate through my sorrow, important things that I want him to know for when he is older and experiences sorrow of his own. I also write about the blessings I experience every day and what I'm thankful for. I tell him I love him because I want him to know that I always loved him. Another project I'm working on is putting together letter's from my family to him talking about their memories of me and the woman they think I am and then I wrote letters of my own to him and memories of my siblings and the valuable lessons I've learned from them. I just want him to understand fully one day how much he was loved by me and his family. For me, the letter writing and journal keeping has been so therapeutic.
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